Prose: winter took us both

for every past life, i have escaped you & all your desperate forms - you have plotted against me, moved your trojan horse, broke apart your army like little seeds, scattering them into the air around me, the sound hitting the ground like glassbreaking- a tune so despairing!
for every past life, until this one - you missed me: winter, summer, spring, fall-ING into the next one, your army reduced, a napoleon despite the season/ the disregard for anyone but your own purpose- souls as new sprouts, souls as dead gardenias, souls as bayonettes erected in the snow... such useless, useless movements. for every past life, your features cold and intangible, your legs too weak to walk! your cities crumbled and dry, the ocean forever, taunting you!
only the memory of her, the death clutching rhine; europe could not contain your gravities/ the cards tell all!
only the memory of her, winding, shocking, too heavy for your dreams to ever ignore
for every past life, o you hypocrite! you suave chevalier! living life like a second hand. winter took us both & shaped us, gave us our dainty mouths and palms and heels; winter took us both, & chained us, gave us our nightmares and desires and needs for every past life, strung out as delicate jewelry beads, the worst kind! unwanted in a corner, afraid it might break- feeding on the shadows instead of:
sunlight, you feared, and twilight you moved; silver in your hair, i didn't know you then!
sunlight, you feared, and it consumed- old gramophones/ sad films- the bomb dropped and we were never the same, friend
for every past life, watching on your street light, a cigarette in your mouth, symphony no. 6, in b minor, Op. 74 pathétique for every past life, i let you find me- balcony room at the hotel; i felt sorry for you, for us, so i gave up on all my defenses! signed my name for you in the snow.
for every past life, myself too unruly, too exposed; the skin is unfit for this soul you told me about, my clay hands too invaluable, shining in the symphonic:
moonlight, you trailed through the snow home, dragged onward alone- i watched you pass under my window, petit garçon dans l'amour; o, won't get what he's waiting for, won't get what he cries for!
moonlight, to the dawning sun- you never sleep, staying up late to stage your battles on the chess set, putting apart the king and queen on separate sides of the board, the loser to be on guillotine, never to be the same to you again (i hope to never lose)
for every past life, your photographs sprawled out on the kitchen counter now- your cool pose, your grey eyes, still looking at me & knowing, knowing, no matter how far & where & when & how, i still love you, i still love you,

i still love you.