Poem: Naive and Uninformed

Unplugged headphones play my life,
the clock on the wall stopped about an hour
or a day, or a minute ago.

You left and
I didn’t say bye.
[I wanted a reaction]

Words fell too fast and heavy
and you spoke in whispers,
as if you cared how each one grazed against me,
how each vowel sat in the air for days.

You always said
you would fight for me.

Knees up to chest and my hands cupped my face,
I wanted to ask why you broke eye contact.
You were nervous and laughed,
I was distraught and mentally scraped my heart out
so you could take it already
and I could be done with it all.

Something snapped and
you made hooked cold skin
jolt forward and burn.

I wanted to break into you,
make your cheeks a strawberry blush,
a treasure hunt to find the whole of you.
to find the warmth in you,
under broken walls and newspaper stories.

Formal and tragic,
like your eyes and
your touch.

I resented you that day, sat by the phone for hours
I broke the radio and wouldn’t leave this blacked out picture.
[stop making this so easy]

I gave in and
you flicker on/off..

I wish you knew how you rearranged me,
I’m used and useless.

..back on and..

I smeared you off the page months ago,
I held the air tightly between us, hard like bass and
deep like dreams,
I ran.
But I’m still here.
I wish you knew...