Story: Psycho Pan
got bored, so i did a little writing exersize giving disney characters personality disorders... blame finding neverland and psychology.
Peter Pan: Paranoid Schizophernia
Wendy: Obsessive Compulsive Disorder
Michael: ADHD
Captain Hook: Gender Idenitity Disorder
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
(Wendy and Michael Darling are being tucked into bed.)
Mom: Good night, Michael. Good night, Wendy.
Wendy: Mom, did you steam clean my pillow?
Mom: Yes, hon-
Wendy: Did you use the snuggles softner?
Mom: Yes, hon-
Wendy: I HATE THE SNUGGLES SOFTNER. IT LEAVES LINT ON THE PILLOW.
Mom: Here, honey, here’s a pillow without lint.
(Mom leaves)
Wendy: (happy now) Good night, Michael.
Michael: (is on the floor playing, talking VERY FAST) I cant sleep. Lets go swimming, Wendy, Wendy, do you want to play house? Wendy, what are you thinking about? Wendy, do you have nightmares? (starts bouncing on the bed)
Wendy: MICHAEL, YOUR FEET ARE ON MY BLANKET. (Grabs Lysol from under pillow, starts spraying Michael ) GERMS!!!
Michael: What are germs? OW THAT STINGS MY EYES.
Wendy: (Spraying Michael, hears a noise.) Did you hear that?
Michael: (stops talking and bouncing, looks around frantically) By the window, someone is by the window!
Peter: (Appears in the middle of the bedroom) Hello Children!!
Wendy: Who are you? What are you doing here?
P: I’m Peter Pan and I’m looking for my shadow, have you seen it?
M: (Bounces around) Shadow? How can you lose a shadow, I don’t understand, can I lose my shadow, I don’t want to l ose my shadow, Wendy, don’t let me lose my shadow, I love my shadow. Do you want to go swimming?
W: No, we haven’t seen your shadow. What are you doing?
P: Talking to Tinker bell, she’s a fairy. (Peter is talking to his EMPTY palm)
(M and W just stare at him silently as he talks to nothing, Peter is hallucinating it.)
P: (Grins and looks at them) What are your names?
W: I’m Wendy.
M: Michael William Steven Darling, the third and a half. Or fourth, or fifth. Do you want to make a fort?
P: What about your other brother? (Points)
(W and M look and see no one where Peter is pointing, they dont have another brother. Peter is hallucinating it.)
P: (whisper) He’s a mute, huh?
W: (distracted by lint) Yes (walks up to peter and picks lint off Peter.)
P: What are you doing?
W: (distracted) picking off…. The lint…(Sprays him with Lysol)
M: Why are you dressed in green? Is green your favorite color, the grass is green, my boogers are green.. Sometimes.
P: I’ve come to ask for your help. There is an evil pirate Captain Hook who wants to kill me and he live sin a magical place where you can be a kid forever, just like me!
W: What are you like 30 years old?
P: (looks suspicious) Anyway, will you help me defeat the evil Pirate Captain hook?
M: I will, I want to, I like pirates, I mean I hate pirates, I mean but I don’t hate them, I just think theyre cool in a piratey way.
W: How do we get to this… neverland? Is it Sanitary?
P: We fly!!! Tinker bell will put some dust on you. Go Tink!
(Peter watches tinker bell put dust on them, but nothing is happening, Wendy and Michael look confused)
P: Okay! Now, think happy thoughts. Happppyy thoooooughts!
W: (suspicious closes eyes and hugs Lysol bottle)
M: (twitches)
P: (leads them outside to his car, drives them to Neverland GYM, leads them out of the car and to a Gym) Here we are, neverland.
W: (Reading sign) Neverland Gym?
M: Wow, (excited bouncing) flying is like driving in a car, does that mean we fly to school everyday does that mean Mom is a fairy, where are we, this place smells funny.
P: Let’s sneak inside and find hook.
(inside the gym, a woman is working out. We see her face and she is a man in women’s clothing.)
Hook: Hi! I am Cat Lyn Hook. The owner of this gym. (Very nice, shakes hands, smiles.)
M: (Whispering loudly to Wendy) Is that a man or a woman, Wendy, why is that man wearing a dress, Wendy, I’m scared.
P: STAY BACK, HOOK! You’ll never kill me!!
(M and W look at Hook, who is very nice. Peter is still shaking and waving a sword at Hook)
W: (Picks lint off of hook)
H: Would you like a free membership for your parents?
M: (Starts to climb on all the workout equipment)
W: Don’t touch that, Michael! Germs!!!!!! (Lysol sprays everything and wipes everything, chases Michael)
P: (Starts fighting imaginary Hook)
(Hook and M and W watch Peter fighting no one)
M: Peter, this Captain Hook... he's really not that bad. (confused)…She… he… It?
P: I get it. You’re all in on it! (points to W and M and Imaginary brother) You’re all out to get me. Well, I’m not going down, I’ll be a kid forever. A KID FOREVER. (attacks them)
Wendy: (Screams as Peter attacks and....WAKES UP from her nightmare. She is back in her bed in the bedroom with Michael)
Mom: (runs into bedroom) Wendy, are you alright? What’s wrong?
M: (Gets up and starts quickly talking to their mom) It was a dream. A horrible dream, there was a pirate he/she and a gym and a crazy old man and a fairy and... (keeps talking)
W: Mom, come here. (mom gets close and wendy starts picking lint off of her.)
Peter Pan: Paranoid Schizophernia
Wendy: Obsessive Compulsive Disorder
Michael: ADHD
Captain Hook: Gender Idenitity Disorder
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
(Wendy and Michael Darling are being tucked into bed.)
Mom: Good night, Michael. Good night, Wendy.
Wendy: Mom, did you steam clean my pillow?
Mom: Yes, hon-
Wendy: Did you use the snuggles softner?
Mom: Yes, hon-
Wendy: I HATE THE SNUGGLES SOFTNER. IT LEAVES LINT ON THE PILLOW.
Mom: Here, honey, here’s a pillow without lint.
(Mom leaves)
Wendy: (happy now) Good night, Michael.
Michael: (is on the floor playing, talking VERY FAST) I cant sleep. Lets go swimming, Wendy, Wendy, do you want to play house? Wendy, what are you thinking about? Wendy, do you have nightmares? (starts bouncing on the bed)
Wendy: MICHAEL, YOUR FEET ARE ON MY BLANKET. (Grabs Lysol from under pillow, starts spraying Michael ) GERMS!!!
Michael: What are germs? OW THAT STINGS MY EYES.
Wendy: (Spraying Michael, hears a noise.) Did you hear that?
Michael: (stops talking and bouncing, looks around frantically) By the window, someone is by the window!
Peter: (Appears in the middle of the bedroom) Hello Children!!
Wendy: Who are you? What are you doing here?
P: I’m Peter Pan and I’m looking for my shadow, have you seen it?
M: (Bounces around) Shadow? How can you lose a shadow, I don’t understand, can I lose my shadow, I don’t want to l ose my shadow, Wendy, don’t let me lose my shadow, I love my shadow. Do you want to go swimming?
W: No, we haven’t seen your shadow. What are you doing?
P: Talking to Tinker bell, she’s a fairy. (Peter is talking to his EMPTY palm)
(M and W just stare at him silently as he talks to nothing, Peter is hallucinating it.)
P: (Grins and looks at them) What are your names?
W: I’m Wendy.
M: Michael William Steven Darling, the third and a half. Or fourth, or fifth. Do you want to make a fort?
P: What about your other brother? (Points)
(W and M look and see no one where Peter is pointing, they dont have another brother. Peter is hallucinating it.)
P: (whisper) He’s a mute, huh?
W: (distracted by lint) Yes (walks up to peter and picks lint off Peter.)
P: What are you doing?
W: (distracted) picking off…. The lint…(Sprays him with Lysol)
M: Why are you dressed in green? Is green your favorite color, the grass is green, my boogers are green.. Sometimes.
P: I’ve come to ask for your help. There is an evil pirate Captain Hook who wants to kill me and he live sin a magical place where you can be a kid forever, just like me!
W: What are you like 30 years old?
P: (looks suspicious) Anyway, will you help me defeat the evil Pirate Captain hook?
M: I will, I want to, I like pirates, I mean I hate pirates, I mean but I don’t hate them, I just think theyre cool in a piratey way.
W: How do we get to this… neverland? Is it Sanitary?
P: We fly!!! Tinker bell will put some dust on you. Go Tink!
(Peter watches tinker bell put dust on them, but nothing is happening, Wendy and Michael look confused)
P: Okay! Now, think happy thoughts. Happppyy thoooooughts!
W: (suspicious closes eyes and hugs Lysol bottle)
M: (twitches)
P: (leads them outside to his car, drives them to Neverland GYM, leads them out of the car and to a Gym) Here we are, neverland.
W: (Reading sign) Neverland Gym?
M: Wow, (excited bouncing) flying is like driving in a car, does that mean we fly to school everyday does that mean Mom is a fairy, where are we, this place smells funny.
P: Let’s sneak inside and find hook.
(inside the gym, a woman is working out. We see her face and she is a man in women’s clothing.)
Hook: Hi! I am Cat Lyn Hook. The owner of this gym. (Very nice, shakes hands, smiles.)
M: (Whispering loudly to Wendy) Is that a man or a woman, Wendy, why is that man wearing a dress, Wendy, I’m scared.
P: STAY BACK, HOOK! You’ll never kill me!!
(M and W look at Hook, who is very nice. Peter is still shaking and waving a sword at Hook)
W: (Picks lint off of hook)
H: Would you like a free membership for your parents?
M: (Starts to climb on all the workout equipment)
W: Don’t touch that, Michael! Germs!!!!!! (Lysol sprays everything and wipes everything, chases Michael)
P: (Starts fighting imaginary Hook)
(Hook and M and W watch Peter fighting no one)
M: Peter, this Captain Hook... he's really not that bad. (confused)…She… he… It?
P: I get it. You’re all in on it! (points to W and M and Imaginary brother) You’re all out to get me. Well, I’m not going down, I’ll be a kid forever. A KID FOREVER. (attacks them)
Wendy: (Screams as Peter attacks and....WAKES UP from her nightmare. She is back in her bed in the bedroom with Michael)
Mom: (runs into bedroom) Wendy, are you alright? What’s wrong?
M: (Gets up and starts quickly talking to their mom) It was a dream. A horrible dream, there was a pirate he/she and a gym and a crazy old man and a fairy and... (keeps talking)
W: Mom, come here. (mom gets close and wendy starts picking lint off of her.)
posted by ~Allie~ @ 6:42 PM
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