Poem: Your number...

note: i'm a little bit obsessive about things. especially numbers. i even remember my debit card #, the expiration date, and the security code (make online shopping waaaay too simple). then for my breathing exercises, death anniversaries, SSN, deadlines, time i have to spend at work... i think i think too much.
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i wish i couldn't remember dates or numbers.
i wish they were just another passing day.
i hate that i countdown. i hate that i add up.
everywhere i look i see the numbers.
i count the steps, 13 stairs to the basement.
5 from the dog food to the dish.
i count the breaths, her 3 to my 1.
i count the words in a sentence.
seven in that one.
i see the number of letters in words.
before i ever see the word.
and what does this all come down to...
friday.
and the numbers for friday run through my head... over and over.
24. 7. 2492. 25. 55...
i cant stop it.
and then there's me...
i was your #1 until that day.
and now i'm just a number.
1
alone.