Story: The trouble with underwear...

Just a silly collab between me and brian over AIM. enjoy:

It was late. Very late. But not so late that peals of drunken giggles couldn’t occasionally be heard from the temple level of Zion.

Both Ekco and Pip were laughing. They had been doing so for some time now and neither could actually remember what they’d been laughing about, only that it had been extremely funny. Ekco stopped laughing suddenly as hiccups took over. Pip lay back, trying to stop himself from laughing quite so manically, fingers loosely gripping the base of a bottle. Another bottle thumped down by his hand, narrowly missing a collision with both his bottle and his fingers.
“It’s all gone,” said Ekco, sadly, in between hiccups. “Why is it all gone?”
“Because you drank it... In fact,” he said, sitting up unsteadily. “You drank most of that bottle!” He grabbed the now empty bottle and peered down the neck at its complete lack of contents. “Biiitch.”
Ekco nodded her agreement. “I know,” she said, reaching for the considerably more full bottle and tipping it to her lips. She hiccupped again as she put the bottle down again, then giggled.
“What’s so funny now?”
“Dunno. Just is.”
“Yeah, but what?”
“Dunno.”
“You’re weird.”
Ekco turned onto her side and poked him, another hiccup surfacing as she did so. “So are you. You’re the one lying down here getting totally rat-arsed with me.”
“I am not rat-arsed,” he said, with over the top indignance.
“Not yet,” said Ekco, giving him a sly looked before beginning to giggle again.
“If you keep stealing the booze I’ll never get a chance to be.”
“You’ve had that bottle to yourself for aaages. Not my fault if you’re not drinking it.”
“I’m just taking it a bit slower than you,” he said. “But go on, I’m not going to be greedy and keep it all to myself.”
Ekco gave him a haughty look and gave a toss of her head, which made the world spin for a moment. “Are you trying to get me drunk Pipeline,” she said, slurring the words slightly. “I won’t have you taking avu… adiv… avda… um.” She frowned, trying to figure out exactly how you were supposed to say ‘advantage’.
“Ekco,” he said seriously. “Even if I was, you really wouldn’t need the help. You’re doing a pretty good job of it by yourself.”
“Wouldn’t be getting drunk if you hadn’t brought the booze along…”
“What? You brought it Ekco!”
“I did not! … Did I?” She scratched her head. “Y’know, I really don’t remember… But I still won’t have you taking ad-whatsit of me. Wouldn’t make a good start to us living together.”
“You take advantage of me all the time.”
“Like you care! You enjoy it.”
“Maybe.” He made a grab for the bottle.
“Miiine,” she whined. “Give it back. Yooou said yourself I brought it along, so it must be mine. Give it.”
“Nuh-uh. We’re meant to share stuff now,” he said, sticking his tongue out at her before taking a swig from the bottle.
“Meanie,” she said. She folded her arms over her chest and pouted at him.
“Aaww! You’re so cute when you sulk,” he said. He began to sit up, then stopped halfway there. “Ahh crap…” he clutched a hand to the side of his head and made a face. “That’s not good. Oww. S’not meant to spin like that.” He fell backwards again. “I like it better down here.”
Ekco stifled a giggle then crawled over to him. “Aww, poor Pip can’t take his boozeyness,” she said, leaning over him.
“I’m fine with the boozeyness. It’s the standing up afterwards I can’t handle.”
“Aww.” Ekco lay down next to him, leaning her cheek and hand on his chest. Pip took another swig from the bottle, and they both remained silent for several minutes, Ekco wriggling uncomfortably every now and then.
Finally she broke the silence. “I have sand in my knickers.”
“You what?” asked Pip.
“Sand. In my knickers. It’s really uncomfy.” She squirmed again.
“How the hell did you get sand in your undies?” he asked.
“Dunno. Sand’s a bugger like that. Always gets where it’s not wanted.”
“Well can you at least stop wriggling like that?”
“I caaan’t. I’m going to have to get it out.”
“Ho…” He had been about to ask how, but she was already standing up, rather unsteadily, and beginning to unzip her trousers. “Ekco! You can’t take your pants off here!”
“Well how else am I going to get it out?” she asked, still wriggling in her trousers. “No-one’s around.”
“That could easily change very quickly. There are still a few people in the temple and there’s that thing called an evelator over there,” he said, gesturing vaguely and not noticing how he’d mangled the word.
“I’ll do it quickly. And I won’t take them off completely.”
“Ekco, you cannot pull your pants down in a public place, drunk or not.”
“You want me to suffer then?”
“Sand in your underwear hardly counts as suffering, does it?”
“Yeees! It does! Arrgh, this would not be a problem if we could just not wear knickers at all…”
“No, then you’d just have sand in your trousers…”
“Yeah, but at least you can get that out easier,” she said, jumping up and down on the spot, with the hope of dislodging some of the sand. “Knickers are just so… so… pointless.”
Pip raised an eyebrow. “This coming from the woman who I know has a whole drawer full of lacey lingerie?”
“I only have that ‘cause you like my lacey undies. And I kinda need the bras. To stop inconvenient and painful bouncing. Knickers are rather pointless. Even without the sand problem.”
“So you’d rather go without? Isn’t that… a little uncomfortable as well?” he asked.
“Nah…” She continued to wriggle. “Fuck it, there’s nothing else for it.” She unzipped her trousers again, and pulled them off.
“Ek!” he said, sitting up rather too quickly and feeling his head reel. She flung the trousers at him, managing to get them to land neatly on his head. By the time he’d got them off his head, she had taken off her knickers and he was faced by a wonderful view of her backside. She was turning her knickers inside out and shaking them.
“Ekco!” he stared at her, not quite believing she’d do this, even when more than a little drunk. “Put them back on! You can’t stand there half naked!”
“Can too. There, all gone!” she said triumphantly. She raised one leg to put her knickers back on, wobbled as alcohol had its way with her ability to balance, and then fell over. “Oh shit, they’re full of sand again.”
Pip tried to stifle his laughter, but failed so he burst out laughing.
“Don’t laugh at me!” she cried, and flung her knickers at him just as she had done with her trousers.
He immediately flung them right back at her. “Put them back on!”
“They’ll only get all sandy again,” she moaned, as she shuffled over to sit next to Pip. She reached for the bottle and took a deep swig. Pip sighed and draped her trousers across her lap.
“At least cover yourself up a bit. Or do you want to flash anyone who walks past?”
Right on cue a group of three late night worshippers emerged from the Temple and walked past them towards the elevator. Pip turned to Ekco, who had gone a shade of pink. She put the bottle down slowly as she heard the elevator doors slide shut and begin to move upwards.
“Oh god, if they’d come out just a minute earlier…” she said.
Pip nodded. “You’d have been prancing around in the nearly all-together.”
Ekco remained silent for a moment. “I think I better put my knickers back on…”