Poem: Alive

So alive
so bright
Full
but on the outside I'm just her Wanting to be near them
Laugh with them
Afraid to be seen
What will they perceive? Weak
bland
Or loved?
The risk is too great
for this broken piece but this longing
Yearning
of what should be
what if I Some are gone
grasping at the remains is fallen
fell thoughts
The chance is there But if one were
and the visions plaguing the mind become ...true... that pain would be too near a reminder of the past
So, of my own choosing 'I' will never be seen just a shadow of that faint smile
and a peek at my true notion
They have proven untrustworthy But my heart still aches for them I dare not speak
for fear of what would be heard
fallen
on healthy ears From afar I stare at what could be right here
so close
so warm
I could just reach out and take it These damn chains
forged by him!
Although they have grown rusty
They have been replaced with a numbness Except for the memory
of what happens when you are revealed
they hate you
always