Poem: Overlook me, for the last time

I called you up and screamed.
I didn’t know what was wrong,
but you hung up.

I live in a dream land -
dressing in an old brown jacket
[a faux white flower safety pinned on]
I drove down the main road,
talking to myself, as if you were there,
even turned the music down
‘cause you said you couldn’t hear me.

I blinked.
[The air was cold]
I blinked.
[You pulled me back]
I blinked.
[I was in bed]
Alone.

That which keeps me together,
I'm tearing apart,
because I was always ironic
and irrational.

Back home, the corner is taken,
thanks to books and creased up clothes,
I sit on my bed and stare at the mess,
the mess I made around me.
Never realized so much dust was collected
on top of the wardrobe while you were here,
but I’ll clean it some day.
[I will]

I took my favourite faux flower away -
because my heart needed the safety pin more
I don’t mean to push down on yours so hard,
but I can't keep on giving everything to someone
who doesn’t even notice
when I’m gone.
[and I was so far gone]