Poem: Insomniac

God this heat is oppressive
Sweat and tears lost in a cloud of cigarette smoke
The temperature rises, but only in your head
step outside, smoke another
I just want to be liked
I just want to be noticed

walk in the room and everyone's head is down
I want to scream "I'm dying here"
but no one would hear me
words unspoken, thoughts unsaid
I just want to be alive again
I just want to live.

The sun starts to rise and I'm just going to bed
Can I be your fantasy tho I'm dry eyed and red
I have feelings too you know but happiness is easier to deal with
I keep a smile on my face and
a wound on my heart
a wound in my eyes
can you see it behind everything
hidden away but not forgotten

smoke another bowl
cough hack and wheeze
feel it all melting away...

tap tap tap
keyboards make the oddest noises
in the dark
in a silent room
what can I do to make it in this world
and what will it be worth when its over
and when will it all be over?

will I end up lonely
will I end up alone
will I end up poor, rich, liked, hated, tired and yet still only
dead?