Story: Harry Pooter and the Supery Glowy Thing!
written by me and brianna, i needed her help cause ive read like one page of HP. enjoy:
Okay, so once upon a time, there was some little fellow named Harry. It’s WEIRD that he’d be named that, seeing that he isn’t sorta as hairy as you’d think he’d be with a name like that. Anyways, he spent his days living in a shoe… in a zoo! With his only living relatives, who were really mean zoo janitors! Wait, no, they were car salesmen! NO! They were NEWS ANCHORMEN! (dun dun dunnn)
Harry always had something weird about him though, a strange mark that would never go away… that was his HUGE-MONGOUS AFRO! Nobody knew how it got there… or WHY it was there…. But uh… it was there. Creepy, no?
One day he got a letter with a seal on it. After sending the seal back to the Arctic, he opened the letter. Before he could read it, though, it was SNATCHED from his grubby lil’ nubs by his Uncle Stinky. “SHIM-SHAM-BALAMM!” He shouted, his angry face turning as red as an orange.
Harry never saw that letter again. I think his uncle musta sat on it or something, I dunno.
Suddenly the next day, the house was filled with a JILLION-BAZILLION letters! And the shoe exploded. “Let’s move to a desolate place like the kind that’s always fought in on Dragon Ball Z!” Shouted his Aunt Polly-Pocket. They didn’t have enough money though, and his cousin Dudley Do-Right had gotten to pudgy and pudding-like to move a far distance. SOOOO, they just moved next door instead. “They’ll never find us here,” said Aunt Polly-Pocket, before a flock of owls came and carried her away. They never saw her again, until the next week when she came back from the Jamaican Alps.
Then they all went to sleep. “Happy Easter to me…” Harry said sadly. They had all forgotten his Easter… Oh well, all he ever got was a buncha eggs, and then they would go bad and stink horribly. Blast them… SUDDENLY some large fellow busted in through the door. “BLIMEY!” Said he, “IT BE RAININ’ UP A BLOODY STORM OUT THERE!” “Who are you?!” Screeched Harry. “OI’M BIFF! BIFF HARRAAAGH’S MOI NAME!” the large man curtsied. “…Oh, O.K.” said Harry. Then he fell back asleep.
Then he woke up again. “WAIT! What’re you doing here, large strangely man?!” “OI CAME TO TAKE YE TO HOGWASH SCHOOL, LARRY!” “It’s Harry!” “ROIGHT, SORRY GARY!” “…Anyway, why? What is this… SCHOOL you speak of?” “YOU DON’T KNOW WHOI?!” “Nopey-dope.” Biff then sat down on the couch, squishing it under his massive… MASSIVEYNESS. “WELL, IT STARTED LOIK THIS, ‘ERE… YOU, JERRY, ARE A BLOOMIN’ MAGIC WIZARDY-TOIPE BLOKE!” “Wait, are you about to tell me a story about how my parents were not actually killed in a sledding accident, but instead that they were killed by a horrible dark magic wizardy-type bloke?” “WELL ACTUALLY, BERRY, THEY WERE KILLED IN A BLERRY SLEDDIN’ H’ACCIDENT. THOUGH IT WAS CAUSED BY A DARK MAGIC WIZARDY-TOIPE BLOKE… MADE ‘EM RUN ROIGHT INTO A TREE, HE DID! HE, WHO’S NAME IS SO BLOODY STOOPID THA’ IT CAN NEVER BE SPOKEN! …SO WE JUS’ CALL ‘IM LORD WOTS-HIS-NAME.” “Lord What’s-His-Name?” “OI, THA’S ROIGHT! THOUGH ‘E’S DEAD NOW, ATE SOME BAD SPINACH H’AFTER KILLIN’ YER PARENTS.” “Alrighty then.” And so they both flew away!
***
“Hey, Biff! Why are we in this weird alleyway?” “OI, WE’LL BE GETTIN’ YOU SOME SCHOOL SUPPLOIS!” And so they did. “’AVE FUN AT SCHOOL, TERRY!” “IT’S HARRY!” “WHA’ EV’!” And so Biff chucked Harry into the Hogwash Espresso Train Thingy, and then rocketed into the sun.
“HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY! I’m Ron! …HEY!” Said a kid who was sitting next to Harry. “What’s with all the ‘hey’s?” Asked Harry, askingly. Ron shrugged. “I like polka!” And SO they were the best of friends. Whoo! Later on a girl came around too, sitting on the ceiling across from them. Her name was Herm… uh… Hermio… WAIT! I KNOW! “HI! I’m Hurt-my-knee! Hurt-my-knee Stranger!” She said, “Lets be friends, even if I’m smarter than you both combined! BWAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!” “Okkie doke,” said Ron. And so they were all friends. And they also found they could store their stuff in Harry’s HUGE-MONGOUS AFRO without him even noticing! Isn’t that NEAT?! You betcha.
(Editor’s Note: Brianna saw a squirrel outside at this point, and started chasing it… so after chasing her around for several hours, I finally got her to start typing again.)
Suddenly this guy with two bulky henchy-type guys burst into the room. The lil’ guy in the middle spoke up. “I’M DRAIN-O MALFOY! If you guys aren’t evil like us, I’ll hafta be your rival and stuff!” “Sorry, no evil here!” Said Harry. “Just my… AFRO!” Then his HUGE-MONGOUS AFRO magically expanded, shoving them out the window. So yeah, Drain-O and his henchguys had to sprint after the train for the rest of the way, on accounta they couldn’t rocket into the sun like Biff could!
When everyone got there, Drain-O’s legs were super-buff from all the running. Seriously, he could probably kick a cow to Pluto or something. “I look like a buff weirdo-man!” He said to his henchman, who well… didn’t look any different, somehow. I think they musta been cheating or something. Y’know, like hovering. Anyway, Drain-O continued, “I’ll make that Afro-guy HARRY pay for this! As soon as I finish modeling for this calendar!”
***
“OI, Y’ YOUNG BLOIGHTERS, YORE GONNA GET SORTED NOW!” Said Biff, as he chucked Harry and the rest into a giant hat that sorted stuff into different houses. The next part is sorta boring, so I’ll just say that Harry, Ron, and Hurt-My-Knee ended up in the GOOD GUY house, and Drain-O and his toadie-fellows ended up in the house for BAD GUYS! And a lotta other people ended up in the houses for NOT-SO-IMPORTANT people.
Then they had a feast and a buncha other stuff that’s boring. Time passed, some more stuff happened, and then finally something INTERESTING happened when Harry, Ron, and Hurt-My-Knee went to Biff’s house in the middle of the day. “WHY AREN’T YOU KIDS IN CLASS, THEN?” Said Biff. “OI HARDLY HAD ANY TOIME TO FINISH TALKIN’ TO MOISELF ABOUT TH’ SUPERY GLOWY THING THAT OI’M NOT S’POSED T’ TELL YOU ‘BOUT, ‘FORE YOU LIL’ PEOPLE CAME BARGIN’ IN LOIK TH’ EFF-BEE-OI!” “Supery Glowy Thing?” Asked Harry, askingly…again. “OH… OI SHOULDN’TA TOLD YA THAT…” Said Biff, like in the movie. “Well,” said Hurt-My-Knee, “I’ll use my smartyness to find where it is! TO THE LIBRARY! AWAAAAY!” With that, she teleported away. Harry and Ron couldn’t do that, though, so they had to run really fast to catch up. “…OI SHOULDN’TA TOLD ‘EM THAT…” said Biff again, in case any kids didn’t laugh at that joke the first time around.
***
“I READ A BUNCHA STUFF, BUT HAVEN’T FOUND ANYTHING!” said Hurt-My-Knee, angry about having read a buncha stuff, but not having found anything. “Wait!” Said she, “I’ll check the prohibited section!”
When Harry and Ron finally came in, she had found out all about it. “Let’s go!” said she, dragging off a dumbfounded Harry and Ron. She came to a large door. “This is where it’s found!” “Whah-HUH?” said Ron, who had a good point, there. “TH’ SUPERY GLOWY THING!” “oh, okay. Uh, why are we trying to find- Wait! AAARGH!” said Harry, as he was shoved by Hurt-My-Knee into the door. “…whoops, maybe I shoulda opened it first…” said Hurt-My-Knee. “HURT-MY-KNEE!” yelped Harry, “YOU HURT MY KNEE!” She shrugged, “whoopsie!”
***
They entered the chamber. It was big and dark. And huge and shadowy. And to and fro. “This place is big and dark and huge and shadowy and to and fro!” said Ron. The others agreed. Then a giant three-headed poodle came out of the shadows and agreed too. Then they fought ninja-style. They ended up beating the poodle by showing him a boring slide-show. They then fell through a trap door while the poodle was sleeping.
“YAAAAAH!” said Harry. “AAAAAARGH!” agreed Ron. “WAAAAAHHHGH!” added Hurt-My-Knee. Then they got caught in the vines of a man-eating plant! “FEED MEH, SEYMOUR!” said the plant as it devoured them. Soon though, it got food poisoning and spat them back out. After all, it was a man-eating plant, not a girl-and-young-boy-eating plant. The plant then went into a musical number about how horrible they tasted, and they managed to slip by while that was going on. Silly plant!
Next they walked into a room of flying keys! They had to find the right one to get through the door! Fortunately though, the right one had gotten caught in Harry's HUGE-MONGOUS AFRO within the first three minutes of being in that room. The only problem they had there was trying to get it out of that HUGE-MONGOUS AFRO.
The room after that had a big ol’ checkerboard! Fortunately, Ron was as good with checkers as he was with polka, so he used his skills to navigate everyone through the game. Unfortunately though, Ron had to move so he would get jumped in order for Harry and Hurt-My-Knee to make it out alive. So yeah, they made it through, and Ron was crush-ed! Oh, and they were all sued by Checkerboard Nightmare for excessive use of checkerboard.
After that, Harry and Hurt-My-Knee made it to a room full of potions! Harry always never paid much attention in that class, since it was so BORING… but he read out the effects of the potions anyways. “Okay, one of these is lethal, one of these makes you sound like Arnold Schwartzenegger, one of these teleports you to the surface of the sun… one of these makes you sound like Arnold AND teleports you to the surface of the sun… one makes you explode, one tastes like diet coke… and finally, one takes you to the next and final room! …Neato! Oh, and we each hafta take one potion.” “Well, I know that one’s the one you’re looking for, Harry!” said Hurt-My-Knee, handing it to Harry. “But I still hafta take one, so…” she picked one up, “I think this one’s the diet coke one, but I’m not sure.” She drank it.
“Well?” said Harry. “EET TASTES LIKE DIEHT COHKE, HARRY! KYAAAGH!” She then jumped through a plate-glass window, teleporting to the surface of the sun and exploding. Harry looked at the list of effects again. “Ohhhh… it says one’s for sounding like Arnold, teleporting to the sun, exploding, AND tasting like diet coke! …Oh well!” He drank the one given to him, and was teleported to the next room, even though the door was open th’ whole time.
Harry found himself in a shadowy room. A single figure stood before a mirror thingy, muttering something to himself. Harry finally managed to make out what he was saying: “This is the song that never ends… it just goes on and on my friends…” Harry then knew this was a being of true evil.
“HEY!” said Harry, “Where’s the supery glowy thing?!” The person turned around. “well,” said he, “You have it.” “Uh… no?” “Yes.” “No.” “Yes.” This continued on for several more hours. “Look, we’re getting nowhere here,” said the person, who then stepped out of the shadows to reveal—“GASP! YOU’RE MY DEFENSE AGAINST SMALL, FURRY POCKET MONSTERS TEACHER! I knew you were evil all along! Why else would you keep giving me F’s?!” “Well, actually, that’s because you’re just not very good at that class. Still, Harry, it is time for me to reveal my TRUE identity! I AM… (he then takes off his mask at this point) MOJO JOJO! Now give me that glowy item that you obtain, for then I shall obtain it! And when I obtain it, I shall use it! And when I use it, it will not be for nothing that I use it, I shall use it to defeat the Powerpuff Girls! BWAHAHAHAHA!” “…” “What? Why do you stare at me with such oddness?” “EAT AFRO!” He then magically expanded his HUGE-MONGOUS AFRO once more! “NOOOO, I cannot touch the AFRO! It is too funk-tastic!”
And so his HUGE-MONGOUS AFRO made everything explode!
The End! ^_^
Okay, so once upon a time, there was some little fellow named Harry. It’s WEIRD that he’d be named that, seeing that he isn’t sorta as hairy as you’d think he’d be with a name like that. Anyways, he spent his days living in a shoe… in a zoo! With his only living relatives, who were really mean zoo janitors! Wait, no, they were car salesmen! NO! They were NEWS ANCHORMEN! (dun dun dunnn)
Harry always had something weird about him though, a strange mark that would never go away… that was his HUGE-MONGOUS AFRO! Nobody knew how it got there… or WHY it was there…. But uh… it was there. Creepy, no?
One day he got a letter with a seal on it. After sending the seal back to the Arctic, he opened the letter. Before he could read it, though, it was SNATCHED from his grubby lil’ nubs by his Uncle Stinky. “SHIM-SHAM-BALAMM!” He shouted, his angry face turning as red as an orange.
Harry never saw that letter again. I think his uncle musta sat on it or something, I dunno.
Suddenly the next day, the house was filled with a JILLION-BAZILLION letters! And the shoe exploded. “Let’s move to a desolate place like the kind that’s always fought in on Dragon Ball Z!” Shouted his Aunt Polly-Pocket. They didn’t have enough money though, and his cousin Dudley Do-Right had gotten to pudgy and pudding-like to move a far distance. SOOOO, they just moved next door instead. “They’ll never find us here,” said Aunt Polly-Pocket, before a flock of owls came and carried her away. They never saw her again, until the next week when she came back from the Jamaican Alps.
Then they all went to sleep. “Happy Easter to me…” Harry said sadly. They had all forgotten his Easter… Oh well, all he ever got was a buncha eggs, and then they would go bad and stink horribly. Blast them… SUDDENLY some large fellow busted in through the door. “BLIMEY!” Said he, “IT BE RAININ’ UP A BLOODY STORM OUT THERE!” “Who are you?!” Screeched Harry. “OI’M BIFF! BIFF HARRAAAGH’S MOI NAME!” the large man curtsied. “…Oh, O.K.” said Harry. Then he fell back asleep.
Then he woke up again. “WAIT! What’re you doing here, large strangely man?!” “OI CAME TO TAKE YE TO HOGWASH SCHOOL, LARRY!” “It’s Harry!” “ROIGHT, SORRY GARY!” “…Anyway, why? What is this… SCHOOL you speak of?” “YOU DON’T KNOW WHOI?!” “Nopey-dope.” Biff then sat down on the couch, squishing it under his massive… MASSIVEYNESS. “WELL, IT STARTED LOIK THIS, ‘ERE… YOU, JERRY, ARE A BLOOMIN’ MAGIC WIZARDY-TOIPE BLOKE!” “Wait, are you about to tell me a story about how my parents were not actually killed in a sledding accident, but instead that they were killed by a horrible dark magic wizardy-type bloke?” “WELL ACTUALLY, BERRY, THEY WERE KILLED IN A BLERRY SLEDDIN’ H’ACCIDENT. THOUGH IT WAS CAUSED BY A DARK MAGIC WIZARDY-TOIPE BLOKE… MADE ‘EM RUN ROIGHT INTO A TREE, HE DID! HE, WHO’S NAME IS SO BLOODY STOOPID THA’ IT CAN NEVER BE SPOKEN! …SO WE JUS’ CALL ‘IM LORD WOTS-HIS-NAME.” “Lord What’s-His-Name?” “OI, THA’S ROIGHT! THOUGH ‘E’S DEAD NOW, ATE SOME BAD SPINACH H’AFTER KILLIN’ YER PARENTS.” “Alrighty then.” And so they both flew away!
***
“Hey, Biff! Why are we in this weird alleyway?” “OI, WE’LL BE GETTIN’ YOU SOME SCHOOL SUPPLOIS!” And so they did. “’AVE FUN AT SCHOOL, TERRY!” “IT’S HARRY!” “WHA’ EV’!” And so Biff chucked Harry into the Hogwash Espresso Train Thingy, and then rocketed into the sun.
“HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY! I’m Ron! …HEY!” Said a kid who was sitting next to Harry. “What’s with all the ‘hey’s?” Asked Harry, askingly. Ron shrugged. “I like polka!” And SO they were the best of friends. Whoo! Later on a girl came around too, sitting on the ceiling across from them. Her name was Herm… uh… Hermio… WAIT! I KNOW! “HI! I’m Hurt-my-knee! Hurt-my-knee Stranger!” She said, “Lets be friends, even if I’m smarter than you both combined! BWAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!” “Okkie doke,” said Ron. And so they were all friends. And they also found they could store their stuff in Harry’s HUGE-MONGOUS AFRO without him even noticing! Isn’t that NEAT?! You betcha.
(Editor’s Note: Brianna saw a squirrel outside at this point, and started chasing it… so after chasing her around for several hours, I finally got her to start typing again.)
Suddenly this guy with two bulky henchy-type guys burst into the room. The lil’ guy in the middle spoke up. “I’M DRAIN-O MALFOY! If you guys aren’t evil like us, I’ll hafta be your rival and stuff!” “Sorry, no evil here!” Said Harry. “Just my… AFRO!” Then his HUGE-MONGOUS AFRO magically expanded, shoving them out the window. So yeah, Drain-O and his henchguys had to sprint after the train for the rest of the way, on accounta they couldn’t rocket into the sun like Biff could!
When everyone got there, Drain-O’s legs were super-buff from all the running. Seriously, he could probably kick a cow to Pluto or something. “I look like a buff weirdo-man!” He said to his henchman, who well… didn’t look any different, somehow. I think they musta been cheating or something. Y’know, like hovering. Anyway, Drain-O continued, “I’ll make that Afro-guy HARRY pay for this! As soon as I finish modeling for this calendar!”
***
“OI, Y’ YOUNG BLOIGHTERS, YORE GONNA GET SORTED NOW!” Said Biff, as he chucked Harry and the rest into a giant hat that sorted stuff into different houses. The next part is sorta boring, so I’ll just say that Harry, Ron, and Hurt-My-Knee ended up in the GOOD GUY house, and Drain-O and his toadie-fellows ended up in the house for BAD GUYS! And a lotta other people ended up in the houses for NOT-SO-IMPORTANT people.
Then they had a feast and a buncha other stuff that’s boring. Time passed, some more stuff happened, and then finally something INTERESTING happened when Harry, Ron, and Hurt-My-Knee went to Biff’s house in the middle of the day. “WHY AREN’T YOU KIDS IN CLASS, THEN?” Said Biff. “OI HARDLY HAD ANY TOIME TO FINISH TALKIN’ TO MOISELF ABOUT TH’ SUPERY GLOWY THING THAT OI’M NOT S’POSED T’ TELL YOU ‘BOUT, ‘FORE YOU LIL’ PEOPLE CAME BARGIN’ IN LOIK TH’ EFF-BEE-OI!” “Supery Glowy Thing?” Asked Harry, askingly…again. “OH… OI SHOULDN’TA TOLD YA THAT…” Said Biff, like in the movie. “Well,” said Hurt-My-Knee, “I’ll use my smartyness to find where it is! TO THE LIBRARY! AWAAAAY!” With that, she teleported away. Harry and Ron couldn’t do that, though, so they had to run really fast to catch up. “…OI SHOULDN’TA TOLD ‘EM THAT…” said Biff again, in case any kids didn’t laugh at that joke the first time around.
***
“I READ A BUNCHA STUFF, BUT HAVEN’T FOUND ANYTHING!” said Hurt-My-Knee, angry about having read a buncha stuff, but not having found anything. “Wait!” Said she, “I’ll check the prohibited section!”
When Harry and Ron finally came in, she had found out all about it. “Let’s go!” said she, dragging off a dumbfounded Harry and Ron. She came to a large door. “This is where it’s found!” “Whah-HUH?” said Ron, who had a good point, there. “TH’ SUPERY GLOWY THING!” “oh, okay. Uh, why are we trying to find- Wait! AAARGH!” said Harry, as he was shoved by Hurt-My-Knee into the door. “…whoops, maybe I shoulda opened it first…” said Hurt-My-Knee. “HURT-MY-KNEE!” yelped Harry, “YOU HURT MY KNEE!” She shrugged, “whoopsie!”
***
They entered the chamber. It was big and dark. And huge and shadowy. And to and fro. “This place is big and dark and huge and shadowy and to and fro!” said Ron. The others agreed. Then a giant three-headed poodle came out of the shadows and agreed too. Then they fought ninja-style. They ended up beating the poodle by showing him a boring slide-show. They then fell through a trap door while the poodle was sleeping.
“YAAAAAH!” said Harry. “AAAAAARGH!” agreed Ron. “WAAAAAHHHGH!” added Hurt-My-Knee. Then they got caught in the vines of a man-eating plant! “FEED MEH, SEYMOUR!” said the plant as it devoured them. Soon though, it got food poisoning and spat them back out. After all, it was a man-eating plant, not a girl-and-young-boy-eating plant. The plant then went into a musical number about how horrible they tasted, and they managed to slip by while that was going on. Silly plant!
Next they walked into a room of flying keys! They had to find the right one to get through the door! Fortunately though, the right one had gotten caught in Harry's HUGE-MONGOUS AFRO within the first three minutes of being in that room. The only problem they had there was trying to get it out of that HUGE-MONGOUS AFRO.
The room after that had a big ol’ checkerboard! Fortunately, Ron was as good with checkers as he was with polka, so he used his skills to navigate everyone through the game. Unfortunately though, Ron had to move so he would get jumped in order for Harry and Hurt-My-Knee to make it out alive. So yeah, they made it through, and Ron was crush-ed! Oh, and they were all sued by Checkerboard Nightmare for excessive use of checkerboard.
After that, Harry and Hurt-My-Knee made it to a room full of potions! Harry always never paid much attention in that class, since it was so BORING… but he read out the effects of the potions anyways. “Okay, one of these is lethal, one of these makes you sound like Arnold Schwartzenegger, one of these teleports you to the surface of the sun… one of these makes you sound like Arnold AND teleports you to the surface of the sun… one makes you explode, one tastes like diet coke… and finally, one takes you to the next and final room! …Neato! Oh, and we each hafta take one potion.” “Well, I know that one’s the one you’re looking for, Harry!” said Hurt-My-Knee, handing it to Harry. “But I still hafta take one, so…” she picked one up, “I think this one’s the diet coke one, but I’m not sure.” She drank it.
“Well?” said Harry. “EET TASTES LIKE DIEHT COHKE, HARRY! KYAAAGH!” She then jumped through a plate-glass window, teleporting to the surface of the sun and exploding. Harry looked at the list of effects again. “Ohhhh… it says one’s for sounding like Arnold, teleporting to the sun, exploding, AND tasting like diet coke! …Oh well!” He drank the one given to him, and was teleported to the next room, even though the door was open th’ whole time.
Harry found himself in a shadowy room. A single figure stood before a mirror thingy, muttering something to himself. Harry finally managed to make out what he was saying: “This is the song that never ends… it just goes on and on my friends…” Harry then knew this was a being of true evil.
“HEY!” said Harry, “Where’s the supery glowy thing?!” The person turned around. “well,” said he, “You have it.” “Uh… no?” “Yes.” “No.” “Yes.” This continued on for several more hours. “Look, we’re getting nowhere here,” said the person, who then stepped out of the shadows to reveal—“GASP! YOU’RE MY DEFENSE AGAINST SMALL, FURRY POCKET MONSTERS TEACHER! I knew you were evil all along! Why else would you keep giving me F’s?!” “Well, actually, that’s because you’re just not very good at that class. Still, Harry, it is time for me to reveal my TRUE identity! I AM… (he then takes off his mask at this point) MOJO JOJO! Now give me that glowy item that you obtain, for then I shall obtain it! And when I obtain it, I shall use it! And when I use it, it will not be for nothing that I use it, I shall use it to defeat the Powerpuff Girls! BWAHAHAHAHA!” “…” “What? Why do you stare at me with such oddness?” “EAT AFRO!” He then magically expanded his HUGE-MONGOUS AFRO once more! “NOOOO, I cannot touch the AFRO! It is too funk-tastic!”
And so his HUGE-MONGOUS AFRO made everything explode!
The End! ^_^
posted by ~Allie~ @ 10:59 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home