Story: Come What May

note: another fanfiction with the LOTRs boys... again, if homosexuality makes you uncomfortable, dont read it. YOU MUST READ 'ANOTHER DAY' FIRST! this is a long tear jerker, but the last section might be farmiliar....

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A thin veil of smoke lingered in the air as a chatter of voices rose above the music playing in the next room. Plastic cups littered the tables and floors as Dom walked through the living room, kicking a few cups aside as he made his way to the kitchen. Billy pushed his fingers to his forehead, watching as Dom disappeared through the doorway. Elijah was sitting on the floor nearby, pulling up small strands of loose carpeting. Time and again he would look up towards Billy, his face full of growing concern. Billy took in a deep breath, closing his eyes as he leaned forward putting his elbows on his knees. He cupped his head in his hands, putting his fingers over his ears to drown out the noise. This wasn't his idea of the New Year he wanted to spend with his Dommie.
“Bills, hey, you still with us mate?”
“Eh, oh… yeah.” Billy replied raising his head.

“Here, drink this.” Dom said, holding out his hand. “A bit of water might do you some good.”

“Think so?” Billy sighed, taking the cup from Dom. He took a small sip and held the cup between his hands, gently rocking it back and forth, watching the water move within.

“You want me to tell everyone to buggar off so it's just the three of us Bills?” Dom quietly replied, sitting next to Billy on the sofa.

“No, it's alright Dom, really.” Billy said shaking his head, pushing a finger to his temple.

“Bloody hell, Bills. You look like shite.” Dom said putting his palm against Billy's forehead. His skin was clammy and wet with perspiration.

“It's nothing, just a headache is all.” Billy grumbled, pushing Dom's hand away. “Just give me a moment, please Dom. Let me sit and get my bearings back together.”

“Bearings shite!” Dom grunted. “I think it's time for you to call it a night Bills. Maybe one too many lagers or something, cause you're looking rather green.”

“I'm fine, it will be midnight soon. Ten minutes. You're not sending me off to bed.”

“That soon eh?” Dom replied looking down at his watch. Billy then began stretching out his fingers on his left hand and closing them back up, making a tight fist.

“What are you doing there Bills?”

“My fingers are all tingly, probably leaning on my elbow wrong or something.” Billy said setting down his cup, rubbing his hands together. “See, that's better now.”

“You sure?” Dom asked putting his hand on Billy's shoulder.

“Sure Dommie.” Billy smiled. “Come on, just you Lij and me. Let's go out on the patio, and ring in the New Year together. Get away from the noise and all this smoke.”

“Done deal!” Elijah replied jumping up from the floor, scurrying out the open door to the patio. Billy and Dom followed slowly, stepping out onto the patio in their bare feet. The wooden floor was cool under their toes and Dom smiled as he made his way towards the railing, standing next to Elijah as he looked up into the starlit night.

“What a year it's been.”

“That it has.” Elijah softly answered, turning to Dom with a gentle smile on his face.

“What about you Bills?” Elijah said, looking at Billy as he came to stand along Dom's side. “Any regrets?”

“Not a one.” Billy smiled looking up to the stars. “It surely won't be one I'll forget.” The night then grew silent; no other words were spoken as the three of them stood along the railing of the patio, watching as a thin line of clouds passed over the moon.

“Just one more minute.” Dom replied, his eyes meeting with Billy's.

“One minute.”

“Yeah…” Dom quietly said with a smile as Billy rubbed his forehead, furling his brow.

“So how do you want to begin this New Year?” Dom asked taking Billy's hand away from his face.

“Right here with my Dommie.”

Voices inside then began shouting, counting down the final seconds into the New Year.

“10”

“And how do you want to begin your New Year?” Billy asked softly.

“9”

“Right here, with my Bills.” Dom said smiling.

“8”

Elijah laughed, nudging Billy closer to Dom as he scooted along the railing.

“7”

“Think he's trying to tell us something?” Billy grinned.

“6”

“Think so, either that or he's jealous.”

“5”

“Highly unlikely!” Elijah said shaking his head. “Go on, you don't have much time.”

“4”

Dom laughed, shaking his finger at Lij as he walked back inside. He then grabbed Billy, pulling him into his arms.”

“3”

“So Bills, we're about ready to start a New Year together, anything you want to say?”

“2”

“Yeah, just one thing.” Billy remarked, rubbing his temple once again.

“And what's that?”

“1”

“That you'll never know how much I really do love you Dommie.” And with that Billy leaned forward, his lips pressing tight against Dom's.

“HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!” The crowd inside cheered as Billy pulled away from Dom, a tender smile held on his small lips. Dom's fingers traced the edge of Billy's chin as he inched closer, trying to steal another kiss. Billy's head then began to throb again and he stumbled backwards a bit, his eyes meeting with Dom's.

“Bills, you ok?”

Billy said nothing.

“Come on man, talk to me.” Dom pleaded as Billy stumbled back a few more steps. Dom caught Billy's shirt and held onto him, pulling him into his arms as Billy reached out his hand, touching his fingers to Dom's cheek.

“Billy, don't do this to me! Lij! I need you! Get out here!” Dom screamed as Billy closed his eyes, falling limp in Dom's arms.

“Bills! Lij! Bills, damnit! No!”

Slowly Dom fell to the floor, holding Billy tightly in his embrace as Elijah came running out onto the patio. Tears filled Dom's eyes as he held Billy to his chest, clenching his fingers tightly against Billy's arms.

“Open your eyes Bills!”

Billy could hear Dom calling out his name, but he couldn't answer. It seemed as though he was a thousand miles away, his voice growing fainter as each second passed by. Then at last he heard nothing as his world fell into silence…

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The soft shuffle of feet passed through the halls, eyes turning towards a figure sitting on the floor beside a closed door. His legs were drawn up to his chest, his head resting on his knees. He was still; eyes shut tightly, dried tears etched along his face.

“Dom?” A familiar voice replied. “Dom, hey man, I'm here.” Slowly Dom opened his eyes, the bright lights of the hospital halls blinding him.

“What time is it Lij?” Dom said hoarsely, rubbing his eyes with his palms.

“Nearly five in the afternoon. Heard anything?”

“Nothing.” Dom answered, putting his arms around his legs, setting his chin down on his knees.

“How long have you been out here Dom?” Elijah whispered, sitting down on the floor next to Dom, handing him a cup of warm tea.

“Too long. I can't go in there, I just can't.”

“And you can't stay out here either.” Elijah said quietly. “Billy needs to know you're here.”

Dom sighed, taking a sip of his tea, before setting the cup down on the floor between his feet.

“Seventeen hours. Seventeen fucking hours Lij. Just seventeen hours ago, Billy told me that I would never know how much he really loved me.” Dom then fell silent, nervously running his fingers though his hair.

“You suppose he knew?” Dom softly replied.

“Knew what Dom?”

“That something was going to happen?”

“It's hard to say.” Lij whispered. “Has he been off lately? Acting unlike himself at all?”

“No.” Dom replied quietly, reaching down to pick his cup up once more. He took a long sip and held the cup in his hands looking down the hall.

“Bloody hell.” Dom mumbled shaking his head. “Why haven't they told me anything? It's like I don't exist.”

“Patience Dom. They probably don't know what's going on yet either.” Elijah said, putting his arm around Dom's back, rubbing his arm. “They haven't forgotten you.” Dom tried his best to smile, but his eyes filled with tears as he leaned over, resting his head against Elijah's shoulder.

“Wish there was something I could do to help you Dom.” Elijah whispered softly. “It hurts me seeing you like this.”

“Mr. Monaghan?” A deep voice interrupted. Dom looked up. There stood a man wearing a white coat, over a pair of faded jeans and a black tee shirt.

“Hello.” He said extending his hand. “I'm Dr. Spiel. I'm overseeing William's care.”

William. Oh how Dom hating hearing his Billy being referred to as William. It seemed so impersonal. Dom reached out his hand, taking the doctor's into his own.

“Yes, that's me.” Dom said softly. “How is he? Billy I mean, how's he doing?”

“That is what I'm here to talk to you about Dominic. May I?” He asked, motioning to a nearby chair. “Or would you prefer to go inside my office across the hall. We could talk there.”

“Here… here is fine.” Dom replied. “I don't want to leave.”

“Understandable.” Dr. Spiel said, taking a seat in the chair on the other side of the closed door.

“We ran another series of tests early this morning and did a few scans as well.” The doctor began, taking out a pad of paper from his breast pocket. “Has William felt ill lately? Been complaining of any pain?”

“Billy, please.” Dom softly replied.

“Yes, I'm sorry. Has Billy been himself so to speak?”

“I haven't noticed anything unusual.” Dom muttered. He grew silent, thinking for a moment, trying to remember anything different. Any changes in the way Billy had been acting in recent months. A thought then occurred to him and he bit as his lip, taking in a deep breath.

“There has been something.” Dom sighed. “He's been doing this…” Dom said pressing his fingers to his left temple. “Rubbing there often, complaining of headaches. He's been munching aspirin like its candy over the past couple of months. Just never thought anything of it is all. Stress perhaps I always imagined. It's not like Bills to get headaches unless he's agitated with something.”

“How long has he been doing that… rubbing at his temples just as you did now?” Dr. Spiel asked.

Dom thought long and hard, leaning forward running his hand along the side of his face.

“Five months now I suppose. First caught him doing it at a convention back in July thought it was stress then too. And this…” Dom said rubbing his left hand. “He said last night his hand went all tingly, numb like if you were to lean on your elbow wrong. He did that too in July, stretching his fingers out like this.” Dom replied, repeating the motion Billy was doing with his hand the night before. “I just thought it was cramping from sitting down, signing autographs all day. You suppose that has something to do with what happened last night.”

“I think we should go to my office Dominic.” The doctor said, standing up from his chair. Dom looked over to Elijah, his eyes wide.

“Go on, I'll wait here.” Elijah replied. Dom stood up, his heart racing in his chest as he followed Dr. Spiel across the hall, walking into his office as the door was closed tightly behind him.

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“Dominic? Dominic, have you heard a word I've just said?” Dr. Spiel replied touching his hand to Dom's arm. Dom flinched under his touch, his eyes clouded with tears.

“I believe we found the source of what has been causing William's symptoms you just explained to me.”

“Billy, doctor, his name is Billy please.”

“Yes, forgive me please. See Dominic, there is this here, a mass we discovered in this scan. It is a tumor Dominic. A rather intrusive tumor here, near his left temple. I'm afraid he has had this for some time and unfortunately it is now terminal, completely inoperatable . There is nothing we can do for him now. It's only a matter of time so to speak.

“Does Billy know?” Dom said softly as he took in a deep breath.

“No, not yet.” Dr. Spiel replied, sitting back down in his chair. “Yet, somehow I have a feeling he knew something was wrong. Guys like us tend to keep things to ourselves so not to worry anyone. When we're sick we usually wait until the last minute to seek help. It's just in our nature.”

Dom closed his eyes, trying to choke back his tears.

“Is he awake now?”

“He is. He has been since this morning. He was asking for you.”

“I just couldn't.” Dom whispered. “I was scared.”

“But now he needs you to be strong. It would be best if he knew you were not scared.”

Dom stood up, his knees weak. His hands were shaking as he turned towards the door.

“I want to tell him.” Dom softly replied. “I think it would be best, if he were to hear it from me.”

“And so you shall. If he has any questions, you know where to find me.”

Dom then made his way to the door, turning the knob slowly. Elijah still sat in the hall, his back resting against the wall. Dom could feel his bottom lip tremble as he closed the door to Dr. Spiel's office behind him as his eyes met with Elijah's. He took one step and then fell to his knees on the floor, sobbing as Elijah came to him holding him tightly in his arms.

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“Talk to me Dom… what's the matter?” Elijah replied quietly, holding Dom tightly running his hand along the back of his head.

“He's fucking dying Lij!” Dom cried out, grasping his hand into the back of Elijah's shirt. “There isn't a thing they can do…”

“Dammit Dom, no.” Elijah said taking in a deep breath, pulling Dom close. “What is it, what's going on?”

“It's here…” Dom choked through his tears, pushing a finger to his temple. “A tumor.”

Elijah was at a loss for words. He didn't know what else to say. All he could do was hold Dom tightly, letting him spill forth the emotion that had broken through, like a river spilling over a mighty dam.

“We have to be strong.” Elijah whispered, closing his eyes, pushing tears beyond his own lashes. “I know you're falling apart on the inside but you can't let it get the best of you.”

“If I lose him I'll never be able to go on.” Dom cried, pulling away from Elijah, drying the tears from his eyes.

“Don't even think it. He's here with us now. That is all that matters.” Elijah quietly replied, putting his hand under Dom's chin, pushing his head up so his eyes met his own.

“Sometimes its better not to know what fate has in store for us, but now you do. I wish I could spare you all the heartache and take away this burden you were never meant to carry. Neither you nor I have the power to change what has happened, but right now you need to make the most of every second and never let go. He needs you now Dom, more than anything else in this world and by not going in there you are taking that one thing he has left to live for away from him.”

“I'm afraid.” Dom whispered as tears fell from his eyes. “Afraid of holding on, knowing that eventually I will have to let him go.”

“But if you don't hold on now, you might not ever get the chance to do it again.” Elijah said, passing Dom a tender smile. “Come what may he needs you there. You're his foundation Dom.If that crumbles, he will surely fall. He needs your support if you want him to stay strong.”

“Strong…”

“Yes, strong Dominic.” Elijah said softly, pushing Dom's hair away from his brow. “That is what you need to be. Go on, go see him. I'm going to make a few phone calls.”

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Dom's fingers trembled as he reached for the knob on the door turning it slowly. He nudged the door open gently, peering inside the dimly lit room. The shallow beeping of monitors echoed within, drowning out the sound of his feet as they fell lightly on the floor. Dom turned around, closing the door behind him. A curtain was pulled part way around the bed inside, the blankets rustling as Dom moved further into the room. Dom stood still for a moment, listening to the various sounds in the room. There was the soft chirp of a monitor on the wall, wires protruding from its screen, leading down towards the bed. Then there was the gentle hum of the intravenous fluid pump, a sound he remembered all too well from various other visits to hospitals to see family and friends. Dom took in a deep breath and swallowed hard; taking a few more steps until at last he came around the curtain to see Billy lying in the bed, his hands folded under his head, eyes closed, hair mussed beyond reason.

Dom bit the inside of his cheek as walked along side the bed, kneeling down close to Billy's head, resting his chin on the mattress. For a moment he sat there, looking over Billy's face. He seemed peaceful though his visage was pale, with dark circles forming around his eyes. Dom then reached out, touching his fingers to Billy's face, gliding them over his cheek. Billy opened his eyes slowly, their soft green hue now dull and seemingly full of pain.

“Dommie.” Billy whispered, reaching out his hand, resting his fingers on Dom's lips. “I've missed you. Why did you go away?”

“I'm so sorry Bills.” Dom pleaded, trying to hold back tears. “I was scared; I didn't know what was going on. I never left. I've been out in the hall all this time.”

“So close and yet so far away.” Billy softly replied, touching his hand to Dom's face. “You've been crying. You shouldn't cry for me.”

“That's easier said than done.” Dom whispered, smiling softly as he stood to his feet.

“Don't go, please stay.” Billy pleaded, grabbing Dom's hand.

“I won't leave you.” Dom said quietly, kneeling back down to the floor. “I'm not ever letting go. There is only one thing that can take me away from you now Bills.”

“Death.” Billy said quietly, closing his eyes, breathing in deeply. Dom could feel his face grow wet with tears as he brought Billy's hand to his lips kissing it tenderly.

“I'm not afraid.” Billy replied opening his eyes, looking deep into Dom's saddened face. “I knew it was coming.”

“You knew?”

“For a month now.” Billy sighed, pulling his hand from Dom's grasp. “It's here.” He said putting his finger to his temple. “Nothing they could do when I finally went in to have myself checked. I let it go too long Dommie.”

“How long Bills?”

“Since last March.”

“But why didn't you tell me? Christ Bills, if only I had known then.”

“Don't blame yourself.” Billy softly replied, taking Dom's hand into his own. “I just thought I was a normal headache, nothing more. Didn't think anything of it till it got so bad I could barely stand up. Went to a specialist but by then it was too late.”

Dom closed his eyes, pulling Billy's hand up to his forehead, tears now falling along his cheeks.

“I didn't want to hurt you Dommie.” Billy whispered running his fingers through Dom's hair. “I thought it would be best if it happened all of a sudden, instead of drawing it out day after day, month after month until it was finally my time. Looks as though fate chose the latter, a test of strength perhaps for both of us?”

“Strength, shite Bills, I don't have any left. Not after today.” Dom cried squeezing Billy's hand. “I don't know what I'd ever do without you.”

Billy smiled.

“Same thing you did before I came along.”

“Not funny at all. Not in the least.”

“I know, I'm sorry. Come here.” Billy said, patting the empty space beside him on the bed. “Mind the wires, just come and lay beside me. I want to hold you Dommie.” Dom stood to his feet, wiping his nose and drying the tears from his eyes as Billy scooted over, lifting the wires connected to his hand and chest so Dom could crawl up into the bed. Dom let down the side rail and sat down next to Billy, waiting until Billy was comfortable before lying down, resting his forehead against Billy's.

“I love you Bills. I don't want to lose you.”

“You'll never lose me Dommie.” Billy softly replied as he put his hand to Dom's chest. Dom closed his eyes, his heart pounding under Billy's touch.

“I'll always be there.” Billy said tenderly, leaving a kiss on Dom's nose. “Forever and always. That right there is something that can never be taken away.” Billy then drew Dom in close, breathing in his scent as he closed his eyes, losing himself within Dom's embrace.

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A pair of blue-grey eyes opened looking to an empty bed. Dom sighed, rearranging himself in his chair, pulling a blanket up around his shoulders. His eyes were shadowed in dark circles, lids heavy longing for a bit more sleep. The morning had come at last. Late in the evening Billy had begun to writhe in his sleep, screaming out, clutching at Dom tightly and digging his fingers deep into his skin. Dom panicked, and jumped up falling to the floor, pulling the intravenous line from Billy's hand. Soon the room was full of nurses and the last thing Dom remembered was being shoved out of the room by a doctor as Billy yelled out his name. Dom tried to push past him to get in again but he was turned away into the hall, the door closed with a loud bang in front of his face.

Dom reached his hand up to his cheek. His face burned as he ran his fingers along the scratches Billy had dug across his skin during his mid sleep struggle. Dom then turned his gaze to the window. The sky was grey and clouded, a light fog hung loosely in the air. Beads of rain fell along the window. Dom closed his eyes, leaning his head back against the wall, fighting with his thoughts on what was happening to his Billy now. The doctors had come outside the room hours ago, letting Dom in for just a few short minutes before Billy was taken away for another series of tests. Dom didn't like the way Billy looked then, skin pale, his body still and unmoving. His chest rising and falling with heavy labored breaths, while his heart beat with such a fury, Dom could see it pounding under his breast. Dom then heard the door creak and he opened his eyes looking to the other side of the room. Slowly the door swung open and there stood Dr. Spiel. Behind him, lining the hall Dom could see many solemn faces. There was Viggo, Sean and Christine. Orlando and Billy's sister Maggie sat on the floor next to Elijah, both of their heads leaning on Elijah's shoulders as all three of them slept. The doctor then closed the floor and Dom turned away, leaning his head back against the wall once more.

“William will be here momentarily. All of his tests are finished.”

Dom grasped the arms of the chair, his face growing warm with anger.

“His name is Billy doctor. I should not have to tell you again.” Dom said with a scowl. “He's my Billy, not just a patient on that little clipboard you hold.”

The doctor said nothing as he looked down through his papers, rubbing his finger along his brow.

“The tumor is starting to compress his brain and he may start having hallucinations and night terrors again like he did last evening. Right now he just needs his friends and family. I will discharge him this afternoon.” Dr. Spiel replied, turning away walking back to the door.

“That's it?” Dom yelled standing to his feet, his hands balled into fists at his sides. “You're just going to give up and let him go?”

“I'm sorry Dominic, but there is nothing more we can do for him here. We have offered him drugs to ease his pain and to stop the effects of the compression, but he refuses. It will just prolong his suffering.

“Suffering?” Dom whispered to himself. His Billy was suffering. He was in pain.

“I will bring his discharge papers around shortly.” With that the doctor opened the door and Dom felt his heart sink deep within his chest. A nurse then came into the room, pushing Billy in a wheelchair and she stopped for a brief word with the doctor as he made his way back out into the hall, leaving Billy sitting in the chair in the doorway. Billy put his hands on the wheels and moved them forward, rolling into the room until the footrests on the wheelchair bumped Dom's legs. Billy looked up to Dom and smiled as best he could, his eyes still shadowed in sleep deprived dark circles. Dom bit his lip, his chest aching with impending tears. He then knelt down, leaving a gentle kiss on Billy's lips as he took Billy's hands into his own. Billy squeezed Dom's hands tightly as Dom came down to his knees, resting his head in Billy's lap. Billy ran his fingers through Dom's hair as tears began to fall along his cheeks. The end would soon be near.

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Billy's hand trembled as he signed his name to a stack of papers resting on a tray next to his bed. Dom sat in the chair nearby, his hand pressed to his mouth, watching as Billy signed his name to one last sheet before setting down the pen. A nurse stood nearby, passing Dom a soft smile as she looked his way. Billy then handed the papers to her and she placed them into a folder she held in her hands.

“Would you like me to take your ID bracelets off for you Mr. Boyd?” She replied, reaching for a small set of scissors in her pocket.

“Yes, could you please?” Billy said holding out his arm. She cut one away, but Dom interrupted before she could get to the other.

“Don't cut that one.” Dom whispered standing to his feet. “I would like to keep it if I may.”

The nurse smiled, placing the scissors back into her pocket, handing Billy the bracelet she removed from his wrist.

“You are more than welcome to.” The nurse replied. She then left the room as Dom came to Billy's side, taking his hand up into his own. Dom folded Billy's fingers together tightly, pulling the bracelet up his wrist and over his hand.

“Now what do you want with that piece of plastic?” Billy laughed. “It's not your color.”

“A little memento I guess.” Dom said softly, slipping the light blue colored bracelet onto his arm. “They put it on you in the ER so they would know what floor you were going to.”

“I see.” Billy replied, rubbing his left hand. “Is Lij taking us back to your place tonight then?”

“I suppose so. Did everyone come by who you wanted to see before we head out?”

“Yes, they all came in.” Billy said standing to his feet, making his way to the window, looking down into the dimly lit parking lot. It was now 7:30p.m. Four hours had passed since he was given his papers to go home.

“Are you sure you want to do this Bills?” Dom asked, standing next to Billy. “We can go to another hospital, see a different doctor and get another opinion.”

Billy sighed, closing his eyes.

“That won't change anything Dom.” Billy softly replied, opening his eyes. He looked at Dom, whose face was long and full of despair.

“I just want to go home, and be with you.” Billy said, reaching out to Dom, squeezing his shoulder gently. Dom took a deep breath and put his hand over Billy's grasping it tightly. Dom then heard a light knock on the door and he turned to see Elijah standing there, holding his car keys.

“It's time.” Billy said turning away from the window, holding onto Dom's hand. “We've stayed here long enough.”

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“Bills, we're here.” Dom whispered, gently tugging on Billy's arm. Billy opened his eyes and lifted his head up from Dom's shoulder looking out the side window of the car as it came to a stop.

“How long have I been asleep?” Billy asked, trying to hold back a yawn.

“Almost three hours now.” Dom replied pulling his arm out from behind Billy. “We've made a few side stops along the way. That's why it took so long to get back. How are you feeling?”

“Tired.” Billy said softly, laying his head back down on Dom's shoulder. “Just a bit more sleep, please Dommie.”

“Yes, all in due time Bills.” Dom quietly answered, nudging Billy's head with his own. “Come on now, up with you. Let's go inside. You can sleep there.”

Billy looked up to Dom and smiled. Dom returned the gesture, kissing Billy gently on his forehead before opening the car door. He made his way out and closed the door before coming around the car to help Billy inside. Billy pushed his door open slowly, putting both his feet on the ground, trying to stand on his legs that felt as though they would buckle under his own weight. Dom put Billy's arm around his neck as Billy got up out of the car.

“I'll go inside and get the lights on for ya.” Elijah replied getting out of his car, closing both his and Dom's door.

“Don't worry about the door on that side; I'll get it on my way out.” Elijah said making his way across the lawn and up the front steps of Dom's house. Slowly Dom began on his way, holding Billy tightly against his side as they walked slowly through the grass before finally coming up the steps and into the front entryway. Elijah was scurrying back and forth between the rooms, arranging a pile of soft throw pillows and blankets on Dom's favorite sofa.

“You need anything else?” Elijah asked, coming to Dom's side, helping him escort Billy into the living room.

“I think that will do it Lij.” Dom replied as they both eased Billy into a sitting position in the middle of the sofa. “He needs a bit of rest is all. I'll call you in the morning and let you know how things are going.”

“Yes, please do.” Elijah said putting his hand on Dom's shoulder. “I'll be thinking of you both tonight.” Elijah then knelt down in front of Billy, putting his hands on his knees.

“Dom will take good care of you Bill. That I can be sure of. I'll see you in the morning, ok?” Billy smiled and reached out drawing Elijah in, hugging him tightly, whispering quietly in his ear.

“Goodbye Lij.”

Elijah could feel his eyes grow wet with tears as he grasped Billy hard, giving him a kiss on the cheek. He came away, his bright blue eyes saddened and red as he stood to his feet. Elijah turned to Dom, touching his hand to his shoulder.

“Promise you'll call me if anything happens Dom.”

“I promise Lij.” Dom replied softly. “You'll be the first person I'll call.”

Elijah patted Dom's shoulder and then turned towards the door, grasping his car keys in his hand. When he finally came to the door, he looked back at Dom as he sat down beside Billy, leaning his head on Billy's shoulder. Elijah took in a deep breath. He had a feeling his phone would ring before the morning ever came.

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The soft ticking of the clock drew Billy's attention away from the shadows lingering on the wall from the street lights outside the living room window. Nearly a half hour had passed since Elijah had left. Billy sighed, rubbing his temple as he looked down to Dom, fast asleep with his head resting in Billy's lap. Billy ran his fingers along the edge of Dom's chin and up along the side of his face, pushing a bit of stray hair away from his eyes. Dom stirred under his touch, slowly waking stretching out his arms with a yawn.

“Dommie.” Billy quietly whispered.

“Yeah Bills?”

“Do you still have all those videos you filmed of us while we were in New Zealand ?”

“I do.”

“Can we watch one?”

Dom smiled.

“Of course we can.”

Dom rose up from the sofa and went to the TV across the room, turning it on. He then knelt down next to a bookcase lined with videos, pulling a few cases down from the shelves. He opened them and chose one, setting the other down on the floor. Dom leaned over towards the television and pushed the video tape into the VCR, picking a remote controller up off the floor before heading back to Billy. He sat down and Billy snuggled close, putting his arm around Dom's shoulder as he rested his head against the back of the sofa.

“Comfy?” Dom asked. Billy nodded. Dom then pressed the play button on the remote, starting the video.

“This one is short, but I haven't watched it all yet.” Dom said softly. “It's from the last night we spent at my flat after filming wrapped. Everyone was there, big party and all if you remember.”

“I do.” Billy whispered. “First time you said you loved me and meant it more than friends.”

“Aye, that it was…”

Dom turned up the volume, listening as Elijah came into the view of the camera…

“See that bloke there. No, no there! Dom, right there. Here, give me that!”

Dom laughed. He remembered Elijah had taken the camera away from him because he was barely sober enough to stand, let alone follow directions, but it ended up being for the best, because it made for some beautiful memories as Elijah began filming Billy, sitting in front of Dom's CD collection looking through a stack of pictures. Dom watched in silence as Elijah panned around the room, catching the smiling faces of all their friends. Dom looked over to Billy; a smile was shining on his face as he watched the TV with tear filled eyes. They watched as Orlando and Viggo sang karaoke together, sounding more like wolves in heat then sensational pop stars. The camera then caught sight of Liv chatting with Sean, more likely than not being drawn into one of his numerous political debates. Dom could hear Billy's laugh on the video shortly followed by his own. Still Elijah walked around the room, filming the clutter on the floor and the streamers hanging half assed from the ceiling. This was the last bit Dom had remembered watching the last time he had played the video. Then as the chatter among everyone began to grow silent, Dom caught sight of himself on the TV walking from the kitchen holding a glass of water. Dom leaned forward putting his elbows on his knees, his interest growing in the video, while Billy's arm still lay loosely over his back and shoulder. He watched as Elijah followed him with the camera, keeping a steady eye on him as he made his way into the living room, sitting down on the floor next to Billy, who was still looking through a stack of pictures in his hand. Elijah's voice then came over the video.

“There is a special bond between those two that you'll never see anywhere else. I am really blessed to have met the both of them and have them be a part of my life.”

The camera then zoomed in on Dom as he looked through the pictures with Billy, examining each of them closely. In the video Dom smiled, his eyes meeting with Billy's as he took the pictures from his hand setting them down on the floor. He leaned in close, pressing his lips against Billy's before coming away, whispering a soft “I love you.” The video then stopped and the screen turned blue as Dom reached his hand to his face drying away his tears. He had no idea that Elijah had captured that moment… that very moment when he first told Billy he loved him.

“He got it on tape Bills.” Dom said softly touching his hand to his lips. “He never told me he was filming us that night.”

There was no reply. Only silence.

“Bills?” Dom whispered, turning towards Billy. His head was tilted back, his eyes closed and his lips parted, his chest still and unmoving. Dom closed his eyes, tears flowing from deep within as he clutched his fingers into Billy's shirt, pulling him in close as he drowned out his cries holding Billy firmly in his embrace. The minutes passed slowly before Dom finally brought his face away from Billy's chest, his eyes focusing on his mobile phone resting on the arm of the couch. He kissed Billy's brow, laying him down across the sofa as he opened his phone, slowly pressing his fingers to the buttons as he dialed Elijah's number while tears fell onto the keypad. Dom then brought the phone up to his ear as it rang quietly.

“Hello? Hello? Dom, I know it's you, what's wrong. Come on, talk to me man!”

“He's gone.”

Dom's drew the phone away from his ear, closing it gently before letting it fall to the floor as he closed his eyes, resting his head on Billy's chest, holding onto the last memory of his beloved Bills.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

“Dominic! Shit! Dominic, snap out of it!” Elijah shouted, slapping Dom across the face. Dom blinked looking all around, sweat pouring from every inch of his body.

“Bloody hell mate! What the fuck was that?” Elijah said pushing a towel against Dom's forehead as Billy came into the living room holding a glass of water. Dom's heart raced in his chest. He was lost in a world of confusion.

“What just happened?” Dom gasped, breathing in deeply, trying to catch his breath.

“Hell if I know.” Elijah replied taking the glass of water from Billy. “Last thing I remember was seeing you sleeping on the sofa and then all of a sudden you start flailing around, screaming out like some lunatic. You about tore Billy's face off when he tried to wake you up.”

Dom's eyes then focused on the side of Billy's face, red and swollen with scratches. Dom's head ached and he rubbed his temple taking in a long hard breath.

“Must have been a dream, a fucking horrible dream!” Dom mumbled shaking his head. “What happened at the party?”

“What party?” Elijah replied sitting down beside Dom.

“The New Years Party?” Dom asked rubbing his forehead roughly.

“We decided not to have a party you nit. It's just the three of us.” Billy answered, sitting next to Dom. Dom looked up to Billy, confused as all hell.

“Bad dream, then, that's it.” Dom whispered to himself.

“What's that?” Elijah asked.

“Nothing, nothing at all.” Dom replied. “I just had a dream is all.”

“More like a nightmare.” Billy said, rubbing Dom's arm. “You sure you're alright?”

“Yeah, I'm fine Bills, really.”

“Well, come on, some fresh air might do you some good. Let's go out on the patio.” Billy replied, helping Dom up to his feet. “We got a few more minutes until the new year.”

“Few more minutes?” Dom questioned, getting up to his feet.

“Yeah, just a few more minutes.” Billy answered. “You sure you're alright, you look like shite.”

“Fine. Just fine.” Dom replied. “Let's go outside.” The three of them then made their way out onto the patio standing near the railing looking up into the starlit night. Elijah looked down to his watch and smiled.

“Just fifteen seconds. Should we count down?”

“Yeah.” Billy replied. “To the New Year!”

Dom's head swam. He closed his eyes, rubbing his hand nervously through his hair as Elijah and Billy began counting down the last seconds to the New Year.

“10”
“9”
“8”
“7”
“6”
“5”

“Bills”

“4”

“Yeah Dommie.”

“3”

“Bills, I have something to tell you.” Dom whispered, his eyes meeting with Billy's.

“2”

“And what is that?”

“1"

“That I love you.”

Dom's knees then buckled beneath him and he fell to the ground as Billy screamed out his name, dropping down to the floor beside him. He pulled him up into his arms, clutching him tightly to his chest, tears falling down his face.

“Dommie open your eyes! Please!!! Open your eyes!!!”

The night grew still, a thin veil of grey clouds passed over the moon as Billy's pleas went unanswered when one last breath was taken past Dom's lips before his heart came to rest under a still chest.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

A light rain had begun to fall as Elijah drove down Dom's street. He was unable to sleep, the hours passing by slowly offering him no peace. As he came near Dom's house he half expected to see Dom's little black BMW missing from the drive as it always was, late on weekend nights, but alas, it was still there, a harsh reminder of the reality that had come to pass the night before.

Elijah drove by Dom's house slowly, his eyes looking to the front door. A light was on inside, shining from the living room window. Elijah pulled into the drive of the neighbor's house and backed out, heading towards Dom's place once more. He turned into the driveway and shut of his headlights as he pulled the key from the ignition. Elijah drew his hood up on his sweater and made his way across the lawn, his shoes growing damp with rain. He then came to the front steps and quietly walked up to the door, reaching his hand to the knob. It was unlocked. He turned the knob and nudged the door open slowly looking inside. Next to the entry way he noticed Billy's duffle bag sitting on the floor, his jacket draped over a nearby chair.

“Billy?” Elijah replied quietly. “Are you in here?”

There was no answer. Elijah went in, closing the door behind him. His wet shoes squeaked on the hardwood floor as he began to head towards the living room, taking the hood down from his sweater. He removed his glasses, drying away the beads of rain on the lenses while he turned the corner, looking into the next room. The television was on but silent, the screen flashing back pictures of Dom's home movies he made while they stayed in New Zealand during filming. There on the sofa sat Billy, leaning forward with one elbow on his knees, his chin resting in his hand while the other one held firmly to the television remote. Elijah stood quietly, watching the TV for a short while before taking a few more steps into the living room, standing next to Dom's favorite chair.

“There's no sound.” Billy said softly, his eyes turning towards Elijah. “I just wanted to hear his voice.”

“Oh Bill.” Elijah replied coming to the sofa, sitting down next to Billy. “Here, let me see the remote.” Elijah then took the remote out of Billy's hand, pressing a few buttons.

“Dom had this set up all backwards like. He wasn't always keen on wiring sound systems that great. There now, that should do it.” The volume then increased and Billy could hear Dom's voice on the TV. Billy bit at his lip, trying to hold back his tears. He shook his head and then took the remote from Elijah's hand, pressing a finger to the power button. The room grew dark as the movie stopped, the TV showing a blank black screen.

“You suppose he knew?” Billy asked, rubbing his face.

“Knew what?” Elijah quietly replied.

“That something was wrong.”

“I don't know Bill. It's hard to say.”

Billy sighed, leaning back into the sofa, looking up at the ceiling.

“The hospital said it was an aneurysm. A complication of a tumor in his brain. Did he ever mention anything to you Lij?”

“Not a thing, why?”

“Just wondering. I can't see why he would keep something like that from me. He had to of known something wasn't right. The doctor said he must have been in pain, but he never let on.”

“Maybe he was afraid.” Elijah said taking in a deep breath. “Afraid of what would go through your mind if you knew you were going to lose him.”

Billy closed his eyes, swallowing hard.

“It's 2:30 in the morning Bill. You should get some rest. It has been quite the day for both of us. Let me get your bag and I'll take you back to the hotel.”

“I'm alright. Please. I want to stay here.”

“Are you sure? You can stay with me if you like. I don't want to leave you alone Billy, not now. You need someone around.”

“I'm fine Lij. Really. I'll sleep here tonight.” Billy whispered, lying down on the sofa, grabbing a blanket up off the floor.

Elijah sighed, turning back towards the front door.

“I'll come by in the morning and make some waffles and toast, ok Bill?”

“Yes, that will be fine.” Billy replied closing his eyes as he pulled the blanket up over himself.

“Call me Bill if you need anything. I'll keep my cell next to my bed.”

“I will.” Billy said softly as a tear fell along his cheek.

“Goodnight Lij.”

“Nite Bill. I'll see you in the morning.”

Elijah then made his way to the door, opening it slowly. As he made ready to leave, he stopped; listening as Billy began to cry, calling out Dom's name. Elijah held back his own tears, putting his hand to his mouth as he closed the door, slipping off his shoes, setting his keys inside them. He went back to the living room, kneeling down on the floor in front of Billy, putting his hand on Billy's shoulder. Billy opened his eyes and reached out, drawing Elijah in close, burying his face into Elijah's neck pleading to hold his Dommie once again.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

“Hey Bill.” Elijah said softly, sitting down on the sofa as Billy opened his eyes.

“I made some tea. Would you like some?”

“Please.” Billy whispered quietly, sitting up slowly, stretching his arms above his head. Elijah stood up, disappearing into the kitchen, soon returning with a small white ceramic cup in his hand.

“It's quite warm. Left it simmering since I woke up earlier this morning. I would have woke you earlier, but you needed the sleep.”

“Thank you Lij.” Billy replied, putting the cup to his lips, blowing gently to cool the liquid inside. He took a small sip and set the cup down on a table close by.

“What time is it?”

“A little bit past one.” Elijah answered, making his way towards a large stack of crates lining the far wall of the living room, full of Dom's old vinyl records. Elijah ran his finger along the edges of the album covers, looking down to a turntable, sitting on top of a crate on the floor.

“Dom's mom called earlier.” Elijah said pulling a record from the shelf. It was the Beatles, Dom's favorite album of course, the cover worn thin and covered with Dom's silly scribbles. “She is gonna stop in later this evening and pick up some clothes for Dom.”

Billy was silent. He ran his finger along the edge of his cup, struggling with his thoughts and the uneasy stillness that now filled Dom's house. Elijah looked back at Billy over his shoulder, setting the record back on the shelf.

“You don't have to pick anything out Bill.” Elijah replied coming back to Billy's side. “I can do it if you like, or even let his mom.” Billy circled his finger around the edge up his cup again, sighing deeply before bringing the cup to his lips, drawing in the aroma of the tea. The scent reminded him of weekend mornings with Dom when he would stay at his place, Dom waking before the sun would ever rise to cook Billy breakfast in bed. A tender smile then fell over Billy's face, his eyes blurring. He closed his eyes, pressing tears over his lashes.

“I can do it.” Billy quietly replied. “He would have wanted me to.”

“He probably would have.” Elijah said putting his hand on Billy's shoulder. “There is no rush. Just take your time Bill.”

Billy took a long drink of his tea, pulling the cup away from his mouth, his eyes focusing on the turntable next to Dom's records.

“Lij”

“Yeah Bill.”

“It's too quiet. Can you put on some music?”

Elijah smiled.

“I can, yes.”

“Thank you.” Billy whispered taking another drink of his tea. Elijah went to the stack of records and pulled out Dom's favorite Beatle's album. He pulled the record from the slip cover and set it on the record player, placing the needle down onto the vinyl before turning it on. He set the volume low, letting the music play softly as he looked over the album cover, smiling at Dom's small doodles. He always had a bad habit of writing all over things and himself for that matter. Elijah turned the cover over and his let out a tender laugh as he smiled, his eyes turning towards Billy. He made his way back to the sofa, watching as Billy looked down into his cup, while he swished the tea around inside by making circles with his hands. Elijah tapped Billy on the shoulder and he looked up, his eyes wet with tears. Elijah took Billy's cup and placed the album into his hand, touching his finger to the upper right corner of the cover. Elijah walked away, heading back towards the kitchen as Billy looked down to a tiny smiley face placed next to a line of Dom's handwriting. Billy's chest tightened and he smiled amid his tears while he read what Dom had written, quietly to himself…

“Bought with Bills, London 12-23-03 .”

To Dom it seemed that even the smallest little things mattered the most.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Billy's footsteps fell quietly on the steps as he made his way up the stairs towards Dom's room. Downstairs Elijah slept on the sofa, a box of old photos setting in his lap, his hand resting inside. For hours it seemed that he and Billy had gone through Dom's collection of shoeboxes filled with tiny mementos of days long past. Dom would keep the silliest of things. Bits of paper and napkins from restaurants all over the world, pieces of string and pennies, metal tabs from soda cans and pens from hotels. But the greatest memento they found was a box full of snapshots that Dom had discreetly taken of both Billy and Elijah. Most of the photos were dark and grainy, probably so since he didn't use his flash as not to be noticed, but they made for some tender moments. Dom had caught Billy reading over fan mail, and Elijah sitting on the steps of Dom's flat in New Zealand . They may not have been the most flattering of photos but they were all beautiful because they were part of Dom, his memories that they could both now see with their own eyes.

Billy took in a deep breath as he came to the last step. The door to Dom's room was open, music softly playing from inside. Dom always left his radio going in his room. Almost everything about Dom was centered around music in some shape or form. Hell, Dom was music, Billy thought to himself… an entity of creativity that if expressed in words would certainly form a song. Slowly Billy walked along the hall, going inside Dom's room. He stopped, standing in the doorway for a moment as he reached to the wall beside him, turning on the light. The floor was covered in an array of crumpled tee shirts and jeans. A set of mattresses rested in the center of the room, their sheets missing, hastily thrown into a corner amid a pile of well worn sneakers. A large bowl was overturned near Billy's feet, its contents spilling out from under its rim. Dom had filled it with his collection of colored plastic bracelets from venues and events, often wearing them at various other functions, adding an extra bit of color to his ensemble. Billy leaned over, picking up the bowl, placing all the bracelets back inside. He then carried it into the room, setting it on Dom's dresser. Billy ran his hand along the side of his face, tipping the bowl forward looking inside. He reached in and pulled out a thin black bracelet, sliding it over his hand. Billy then took off his watch and let it drop into the bowl as he walked away, sitting down on the mattress in the middle of the floor. He had no idea what clothes he would want to wear when he was eventually laid to rest; let alone which ones Dom would want to have. Billy's eyes searched the floor. Not a single article of clothing Dom owned was hung in a closet or placed into dresser drawers. Both lay empty, filled with various other odds and ends they were never meant to hold. Billy then caught sight of a pair of deeply faded jeans, covered with scribbles and ramblings drawn on with a black sharpie marker. Billy reached over, pulling the jeans up off the floor, setting them down on the bed. Near a small table Billy noticed an old white tee shirt, pawed at with lines of paint Dom had streaked across his fingers. He leaned forward, grasping the shirt in his hand. Billy gave it a quick shake, smoothing out the wrinkles. Something seemed to be missing though. Billy stood up, gathering Dom's shirt and jeans in his hands draping them over his arm. Hanging from a mirror next to the window Billy noticed a scarf. It was long and thin with stringy tassels, patched together with shades of various colored fabrics. Billy went to the mirror, pulling down the scarf, folding it over his arm. These were perfect… each piece of clothing a reminder of the uniqueness that was Dom from his lovable childish nature, to his uncontrollable habit of writing his thoughts and feelings through words and symbols on his clothes. Billy then heard a knock on the door downstairs and he swallowed hard. Another knock came and Billy made his way to the doorway, stopping for a brief moment before reaching up to turn out the light. There were a lot of memories in here but now wasn't the time to reminisce. That would have to be saved for another night.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Billy walked slowly down the steps, the cold hardwood beneath his feet sending a chill up his back. A shadow lingered outside in front of the door and another knock fell as Billy reached his hand to the knob turning it gently. He opened the door and there stood Dom's mum. Her eyes met with Billy's and she smiled, reaching out pulling him into a tight embrace.

“I can't find any words to say Bill.” She whispered softly in Billy's ear. “All my tears are spent. I've lost my baby.”

“I've lost my baby too Aureen.” Billy replied quietly, hugging Dom's mum with all his might. Aureen the came away from Billy, her lips quivering as she brought her hand to Billy's face, drying away the tears that had begun to fall from his eyes.

“Here.” Billy said holding out his arms. “For Dom. Lij said you would be stopping by.”

“Oh you didn't have to Bill.” Aureen sighed touching her fingers to Billy's cheek. “That must have been so hard. I could have found something my dear. You shouldn't have been burdened with such a task.”

“It was no burden at all.” Billy said with a gentle smile. “A lot of memories are in that room. Maybe another night I'll go back up there and just sit with my thoughts.”

“You do that.” Arlene replied taking the clothes from Billy. “These are perfect. I couldn't have chosen anything like this. These seem so fitting… put them together and it's almost like…”

“A work of art?” Billy sighed.

“Yes, just that.” Dom's mum answered putting her hand over Dom's clothes. She then broke down in tears and Billy drew her into his arms, resting his head on her shoulder.

“Take your time love.” Billy softly whispered. “Let it all out.” Aureen then pulled away, closing her eyes and taking in a long deep breath. She opened her eyes, looking towards Billy.

“The service is in the morning. Just us, close family and friends.”

Billy nodded.

“I need to get back. I've been away too long.”

Aureen then turned away, making her way down the front steps.

“Billy.” She said softly stopping on the very last step.

“Yes mum.”

“No masterpiece can be created without the strokes of an artist's brush.” Aureen quietly replied. She then fell silent, looking down to Dom's clothes she held in her arms. Her eyes then met with Billy's once more.

“You were that brush, Bill.” Aureen said softly, pressing a loving smile over her lips. She then walked away, getting into her car, pulling out of the drive, leaving Billy on the front steps alone with his tears.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Billy rolled over, opening his eyes as he pulled his blanket up over his shoulders. He squinted, fixing his eyes on the clock on the far end of the room. It was now twenty past three . He had yet to find any rest, his mind in constant motion, trying to absorb everything that had happened in the past few days. It seemed like a horrid dream that he only wish he could wake from if someone were to shake him back to his senses. Billy looked down to the floor where Elijah slept, nestled among a pile of pillows and blankets to use for a make shift bed. Though he slept Billy could tell that Lij too was struggling inside. His face seemed deeply saddened, his lips pouting in slumber. Billy sat up and reached for a glass of water setting close by taking a drink. Elijah then turned over quickly, shouting out Dom's name. Billy put his glass down, sliding down from the couch, sitting next to Lij on the floor. He put his hand to his shoulder and shook him gently.

“Lij. Hey. I'm here.” Billy whispered softly. “It's Billy. You're dreaming man, just open your eyes.” Elijah's eyes opened, staring back at Billy widely.

“Nightmare?” Billy asked rubbing his eyes, heavy with long desired sleep.

“Yeah.” Elijah replied, with a sigh as he leaned over on his side. “I was reliving it all over again… that night I mean. You know, when Dom…”

“Yeah. I've been reliving it too. I can't sleep. I'm afraid of what dreams may come to me if I do.”

“I know the feeling.” Elijah said sitting up. “I doubt I'll find anymore sleep tonight myself.” Billy then handed Elijah his glass of water.

“Did Dom's mom stop in yet?” He asked taking a drink.

“She did. About six hours ago.” Billy replied as Elijah handed the glass back.

“She stay long?”

Billy shook his head.

“No, not really. I gave her some clothes I picked out and then she left.”

“She say when the service is Bill?”

“In the morning.” Billy said with a heartfelt sigh. “I don't know if I'll make it Lij. I'm gonna fall apart, I just know it.”

“Don't worry. I doubt anyone would expect you to hold yourself together.”

Billy smiled and then he grew quiet, his eyes searching around the room.

“A penny for your thoughts?” Elijah whispered touching his hand to Billy's knee.

“Just a hundred what ifs, and no answers.” Billy sighed.

“Some things just aren't meant to be answered Bill.”

“I know, but I'd like an answer for this.”

“We all do.” Elijah replied, lying back down. “How about you try for a bit of rest? Maybe you'll find the answer in your dreams Bill.”

“There's nothing left to dream about Lij. Everything I ever dreamed for faded when Dommie was taken away.”

Elijah breathed in deep, reaching out to Billy.

“Come on. Lay down here with me and try to get some sleep. I'll be right here if you need me.”

Billy smiled, pulling his pillows away from the sofa, placing them on the floor next to Elijah. He nestled himself into the pillows and tugged on a blanket, dragging it out from under Elijah's leg.

“I'll keep watch over you.” Elijah gently whispered, pulling another blanket up over Billy. “You'll be ok.”

Billy closed his eyes as he felt Elijah's hand fall over his shoulder, a bit of reassurance to let Billy know he was there, keeping a silent vigil over his dear friend.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Billy rubbed his finger along the glass of the picture frame he held within his hand, a heavy sigh passing over his lips as he placed the frame back on the bookcase while looking over at Elijah. He was still sleeping soundly, spread out on the floor amid his pile of blankets and pillows. Billy couldn't find the will to sleep. Every time he closed his eyes dreams would haunt him, playing back that night when Dom passed away in his arms. Billy's eyes turned to the window. The sun was just now beginning to rise, casting pale shades of orange and red across the sky. Billy looked down to his hands, turning the silver ring on his finger, before making his way to the kitchen for a cup of tea. He filled a small kettle with water and put it on the stove, turning on the burner as he searched through Dom's cupboards trying to find his tea bags. After a few passes he finally found them buried back behind bags various confections he had stashed away for late night snacking. Soon the water was boiling and Billy took the kettle from the stove, pouring a bit of the water into his favorite ceramic mug he always kept at Dom's place. Billy dipped a tea bag into the water and brought the cup up into his hand, heading over to the table in the kitchen. He sat down, looking out the patio doors, watching as birds began to feast on the birdseed left in one of the many feeders that lined Dom's backyard. Billy then heard Elijah moving about in the living room and he looked down to his cup, giving the liquid inside a gentle stir with a spoon. Billy's eyes then focused on the chair at the other end of the table. It was empty, slightly pulled away from the table still holding the pillow that Dom always insisted sitting upon while eating his cereal in the morning. An empty tea cup still sat at his place, left over from the morning three days past. Billy closed his eyes, wishing that all he had to do was open them and Dom would be there, sitting where he always did, across from Billy every morning he had come to stay with him in LA.

“Billy, hey… you ok?”

Billy opened his eyes. Elijah was standing next to him, a look of growing concern on his face.

“Yeah… I'm alright.” Billy replied softly, shaking his head.

“No, you're not.” Elijah said quietly, crouching down next to Billy. “You haven't slept at all, I can see it in your eyes.”

“I just miss him so much Lij.” Billy whispered, stirring his tea once more. “It doesn't seem right. Why did he have to be taken away from me?”

“We're all wondering the same thing Bill.” Elijah said getting up, pulling out a chair next to Billy. “Some things are just not meant to be answered but what doesn't break us only makes us stronger.”

“I'm already broken Lij. I don't think I can go through with this today. I can't see him like that.”

“I don't want to see him like that either, but it's not like we have any other choice. Come on, how about we get around and head over there together.”

“Go on…” Billy said taking in a deep breath. “I just want to sit here for a moment.”

“Are you sure?”

Billy nodded, dipping his finger down into his tea.

“Yes, I'm sure. I'll get around shortly. Don't you worry about me.”

“But I do worry Bill.”

“I know.” Billy said, turning towards Elijah passing him a tender smile. “And that is what makes you such a wonderful friend.”

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

“Bill, we're here.” Elijah said softly touching Billy's arm. “We're at the funeral home.” Billy opened his eyes. They were red and swollen, a reminder of the tears he spent while getting dressed that morning. He spent most of his time wandering from room to room, searching through notebooks and pouring over pictures, filling his mind with every detail of Dom's life from beginning to end. He even found himself standing in the spare room at Dom's house, filled with his paintings that so few ever did see. Many were covered with old sheets, but Billy was drawn to one, still sitting on an easel in the corner of the room. The canvas was filled with lines of dancing color, never reaching the other side. Just as Dom… it was one masterpiece that had come to a sudden unexpected end.

“Bill, you ok?” Elijah replied leaning over his seat.

Billy nodded, pressing his hand to his mouth, pushing that memory from his mind.

“Come on, let's go inside. It's just us and Aureen here. Everyone else is will be waiting for us at the cemetery. His mom said he would have wanted it that way. He didn't like formal affairs much, so she wanted to just have the service there.”

“Simple yet completely unique.” Billy said softly to himself. “Just like my Dommie.”

“Yes, just like your Dommie.” Elijah replied quietly. “Let's go see him, shall we?”

Billy's throat tightened and he looked to Elijah, his eyes tearing once more.

“I don't know if I can.” Billy whispered.

Elijah smiled, his eyes filling with tears. He reached over to Billy and squeezed his shoulder. The hour had finally come at last. It was time…

“I'll be with you every step of the way Bill. He's waiting for you to say goodbye.”

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

As Elijah and Billy made their way up the front steps Aureen met them at the door. She said little as they came inside, standing in the entry way.

“Dominic had a visitor late last night.” She softly replied looking down to her hands. “I was about in tears when I came in this morning. The funeral director said he insisted to be let in.”

“Who was it?” Elijah asked quietly.

“Come and see for yourselves.” Aureen whispered, holding her hand out to the room beside her. Elijah moved forward, following Aureen as she went into the room, but Billy stayed firmly where he stood, unable to move.

“Please, Bill, you have to be strong.” Elijah said turning back to him. He then held out his hand. “Don't you want to see him?”

“I do.” Billy muttered. “But not like that.”

“Right now, you don't have any other choice.” Elijah replied, grabbing Billy's hand. “You're not alone Bill. None of us want to see him like this.”

Billy swallowed hard, closing his eyes as a heavy sigh fell over his lips.

“It's time.” Billy whispered slowly, opening his eyes. “I want to say goodbye.”

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Billy followed quite a few steps behind Elijah watching as he went into the room where Dom lay. He disappeared around the doorway and Billy heard Elijah cry out, his knees hitting the floor as he broke down into a shower of tears. Billy ran to him, kneeling down, gathering Elijah up into his arms as he looked to the far end of the room. Billy's lips began quivering and he buried his head into Elijah's chest as tears fell along his face.

“It's beautiful.” Elijah replied, putting his hand against Billy's head. “Who did it?”

“Viggo.” Aureen said softly, making her way towards Dom's casket. She ran her fingers along the silver finals looking back to Elijah as he stood to his feet helping Billy up from the floor. He then began walking towards Aureen, holding Billy close to his side under his arm. Billy could barely see through his tears, but what he did see, he couldn't find any words to describe. Dom's entire casket had become a canvas, a dark ebony palette holding a beautiful mural, a tribute to Dom's life and to all the people he had touched. It seemed Viggo had brought out the very essence of Dom with nothing more than a few simple brushstrokes and paint. Billy reached out, touching his hand to the casket. Within lay Dom, his face holding just a faint smile across his still lips while a few stands of hair lay across his brow. He looked quite peaceful, yet so much alive. A tender sigh came as Billy put his hand to Dom's, running his fingers across the silver band around Dom's thumb. He had bought that ring for Dom on his birthday just the year before. His fingers then strayed to the three black rubber bracelets on Dom's left arm. A trademark of his so to say, that always seemed to find their way onto his wrist. Billy half expected Dom to reach out and intertwine his fingers into his own like he did many times before when Billy would fuss with Dom's jewelry, but this time the loving gesture never came. Everything about Dom was beautiful, even now in this state. From the work Viggo had left upon Dom's casket to the clothes he now wore. Elijah reached his hand to Billy's, placing both his and his own over Dom's. Elijah squeezed Billy's hand tightly and then brought his arm away, turning around leaving Billy and Dom's mom behind. Aureen touched her hand to Billy and followed, leaving the room in silence. Billy looked around; he was alone… one last moment with his Dommie he thought, as he leaned into the casket, leaving a tender kiss on Dom's still lips as he whispered his goodbye.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

A deep silence was in the air. Not a single word had been spoken since Elijah and Billy left the funeral home, following behind the car carrying Dom's casket and his parents. Dom's brother Matt was with them as well, having arrived just a short time earlier after catching the first flight back from his New Year holiday in Wales . The cemetery was nearly an hour away, hidden down a long and narrow path, away from the city and the chaos of urban life. It was surrounded with trees and foliage, a hidden sanctuary of tranquil peace. It was a place where Dom would feel whole. A place where he could finally become one with nature, a gift to the earth he so loved as he was laid to rest within her ground. The drive seemed as though it would never end, until at last they came to a line of cars along the stone way, leading through the cemetery gate. They continued on, passing row after row of grave markers when they finally arrived at the far back lot where a single large oak grew, it's tall branches reaching high into the sky. There were no other graves here, just this tree… a living reminder that would forever grow where a fallen loved one would soon be laid to rest. Elijah pulled to the side of the stone path and parked his car as Billy stared solemnly out the window. Everyone was here, Viggo, Orlando, Sean and Christine, PJ and Fran, all of Dom's closest family and friends. There must have been at least a hundred faces looking his way. Elijah turned off the car and opened the door as Viggo came to him, pulling Elijah into a firm embrace. Billy then pushed his door open as well, stepping out onto the grass as he smoothed the wrinkles from his jacket. He felt a hand touch his arm and he looked to see Viggo standing at his side, tears in his weary eyes. Billy smiled, leaning his head to one side as he bit on his lip, falling into Viggo's arms.

“That was beautiful, what you did for Dom.” Billy whispered softly. “Thank you.”

“No thanks are needed.” Viggo replied giving Billy a gentle nudge with his head. “Special people need to be remembered in special ways and I could see no other gift of remembrance that he would have enjoyed more. It's something that so few will see, but that so many will remember.”

“That they will.” Billy said drying the tears away from his eyes. Viggo then excused himself, making his way towards the car where Dom's casket lay. Soon Sean and Orlando joined him as well as Dom's father and his brother Matthew. Viggo looked to Elijah and nodded.

“They need one more.” Elijah quietly replied. “Another pall bearer that is.”

Billy stepped forward, but Elijah put his hand against his chest, holding him back.

“Not this time Bill. You have born more than your fair share on your shoulders thus far; this is one more burden that I can not see you carry. I will go.” Billy drew Elijah into his arms, hugging him tightly, before letting him go, as he slowly made his way towards the moment when he would last hold his dear friend in his arms.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Billy stood back behind the crowd, listening to the words of the minister overseeing the service. He felt like an outcast, backs being turned to him as though he didn't exist. It seemed so many people forgot just what it was he and Dom had together, but Billy couldn't bring himself to look closer. The sight of all the tear stricken faces alone was more than he could bear, yet he found comfort in some friends, for Elijah stood at his side as well as Viggo, as they all desperately tried to hold back their tears. The minister then closed with a prayer and raised his head asking if anyone would like to share a few words. Viggo spoke out raising his hand.

“If I may!” He replied. “I have some words I would like to share.”

The minister nodded and Viggo took Billy by the hand, pulling him along as he made his way through the crowd. They came to Dom's casket and Viggo stopped, putting his hands on Billy's shoulders standing Billy in front of him, before speaking.

“We have all gathered here to celebrate a life that was short lived. Then again, we seldom take a moment to focus on everyone's lives that person touched. I know I'm not speaking for myself when I say that Dominic has left a lasting impression on my life and I know one life he touched more so than many others, and that is this life right here.” Viggo replied patting Billy's shoulders with his hands. “Without Billy, Dominic said himself that he was never whole. Apart they seemed so different but once they were together they were as if they were one individual. Dom would have wanted you all to remember him, but then again he would not want you to forget this man here.” A deep silence fell over everyone present as Viggo scanned the many faces looking his way.

“Late last night I found myself at the funeral home, painting this mural you see here.” Viggo replied holding out his hand. “Yet as it stands it is incomplete. The painted memories I have left behind are nothing more than a canvas for what matters most… the memories of all of you here. So many of us never had the chance to say that one last goodbye, or hear his voice before it was silenced for all time. As we all have gathered here to pay our respects, I ask that before you leave take a moment and let Dominic know how much he has touched your lives.” With that Viggo reached into his coat pocket and pulled out a black sharpie marker, handing it to Billy.

“Even in life Dom could not always find the right things to say, so in turn he would take to writing, mostly on himself or his clothes. It was his way of expressing what he truly felt within, without ever having to speak the words. We're all hurting inside and the tears are the only sound we can hear of our sorrow, but I thought it best to let Billy here be the first to write something on this canvas which Dominic will carry with him forever.”

No words could find their way past Billy's lips. He looked to Viggo, pulling the cap off the marker placing it into Viggo's outstretched hand. Billy went to the casket setting the tip of the marker down, his hand slowly writing the words he only wished he could say…

“What love you have given me I can never give back. You are taking a part of me with you as I say my last goodbye, but I shall find comfort in knowing that one day, I'll be back at your side.”

Billy then handed the marker back to Viggo, tears falling hard along his face. He turned away, parting his way through the crowd as each person took their turn writing a sentiment upon Dom's casket, leaving their words far from Billy's own, for they belonged untouched and unbothered right where they were written, close to Dominic's heart.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

The evening had come and stars now littered the desolate black sky as Elijah drove up to Dom's house, parking along the curb. He turned and looked beside him, focusing on Billy sitting in the passenger's seat, his eyes still staring into the emptiness before him. Since the funeral he had not said a single word.

“I don't think it's going to do you a bit of good to stay here tonight Bill. I'll go inside and get your bag. You can come back with me.” Elijah replied, reaching for the handle to open his door. Billy grasped Elijah's wrist and shook his head no.

“Just go home Lij.” Billy said softly opening his door. “I'll call you later.”

“I'm not leaving you alone Bill. I just can't.”

Billy stared back, his eyes dark full of pain.

“I will be fine.”

“Are you sure Bill?”

“I am. I just want to be alone right now is all.”

“I can stay, it's no trouble.”

“Please, Lij, just go.” Billy said closing the door. Billy stared back at Elijah through the window, the street light overhead casting an eerie shadow on his deeply saddened face. Tears filled Elijah's eyes as Billy turned away, walking across the lawn towards Dom's house. As Billy neared the steps he looked back towards Elijah once more and Elijah pulled away, his heart shattering in two.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Billy's hand trembled as he put his key in the lock. He turned it gently and put his hand to the knob opening the door. Billy came inside, closing the door behind him as he reached out, turning on the light. He slipped his jacket off letting it fall on his duffle as he passed it by heading towards the living room. As he walked he undid the top two buttons of his shirt rubbing his hand along his collarbone. Not once had he been surrounded in so much uneasy silence. Billy came around Dom's favorite chair. It was a large overstuffed armchair, small tears and frayed fabric around every edge. It was Dom's favorite place to sit when he would write in his journal or play his video games. Billy took in a deep breath and sat down, letting his body sink into the soft cushions. He could understand why Dom fancied this chair so. It was quite comfortable. Billy then felt something hard under his leg and his put his hand down between the side of the chair and the seat cushion. His fingers touched something cold and he grabbed what he felt, pulling it out from the chair. It was Dom's digital camera. Billy smiled, holding the camera in his hand. The last he seen it was on New Years Eve when Dom was wandering around snapping pictures of him and Elijah. Billy turned it on, his fingers pressing various buttons until the video screen flashed on, showing a close up picture of Elijah's face. Billy continued to scroll through the pictures, about seven in total of silly candid shots Dom had captured of both he and Elijah just a few short days ago. As Billy came to the last picture he smiled. It was a photo of Dom. Billy took in a deep breath and looked to the television setting the camera down beside him. Billy then stood up and made his way to the TV, turning it on while skimming over a selection of videos lining a nearby shelf. Billy then noticed a video tape sitting by itself on a bottom shelf without a case. Billy reached down and picked it up. On the sticker was Dom's handwriting. It simply read ‘my last goodbye'. Billy then went to the television and pushed the tape into the VCR. Billy then went back to the sofa, picking up the remote, lightly pressing his finger to the play button. When he did a video began playing from an old school play but it stopped abruptly, showing Dom adjusting the camera before stepping away, sitting down in his favorite chair.

“Well, the new year is almost here.” Dom began. “Just two more days actually. Time seems to have snuck up on me quickly. There are a few things I want to get off my chest, so I thought it best to say them here. I have a feeling the person who I really wanted to say this too will eventually find this, so Bills, if you're watching, please forgive me for not telling you sooner.”

Dom ran his hand through his hair nervously, stopping for a moment to take in a deep breath.

“I've been sick for some time Bills. Almost a year now, but I just couldn't bring myself to tell you. I can't stand to see you hurting and if you knew you were going to lose me I would have to live each and every day, seeing the pain on your face, wondering when my end would be near. I thought it would be best if it happened all of a sudden, unexpected like. I never wanted you to feel sorry for me, but I'm living with the regret inside that you'll never know that I knew… well, now you'll know… bloody hell. I think you get what I'm trying to say.”

Dom then broke down choking out his last words through his tears.

“Bills, I love you more than you know mate, that's why I never told you. I have this feeling inside, a sense that there isn't much longer, so I guess this is my own crazy way of saying goodbye.”

The screen then faded to black and Billy let the remote fall from his hand, hitting the hardwood floor. He jumped to his feet, rushing to the bathroom, his stomach tied in knots.

“Bloody fucking hell!” Billy yelled slamming his fist against the wall. “Why didn't you tell me Dommie??!! Why?” Tears fell along Billy's face and he leaned forward against the sink, turning on the cold tap, catching the water in his cupped hands. Billy splashed the water over his face, looking up into the mirror above the sink. He could still hear Dom's voice echoing in his head…

“I've been sick for some time Bills. Almost a year now, but I just couldn't bring myself to tell you.”

Billy closed his eyes, his heart raging within his chest.

“A whole bloody fucking year!” Billy screamed out, leaning his head against the wall, rubbing the back of his neck. “How could I have not known?” Billy's head ached with a fury unknown. Billy looked up to the mirror, setting his hand on the corner, pulling it forward showing the medicine cabinet hidden behind it in the wall. He reached for a small bottle of aspirin, opening it and taking out two pills as he filled a small drinking cup with water. He would give anything to get rid of the pain in his heart, to have his Dommie back and make everything right once more. Billy picked the pills up off the counter, holding them in his hand for a moment as he looked back inside the medicine cabinet. Billy's mobile rang in his pocket, but he ignored it, dropping the aspirin as he reached up, pulling a bottle of pills down from the shelf. Billy read over the label. It was a strong muscle relaxant Dom had prescribed for him several months earlier when he sprained his ankle. Billy's mobile rang again as he shook the bottle gently. There were still quite a few pills inside. Billy's hands shook as he pushed down on the cap, opening the bottle, pouring all the small round pills into his hand. Maybe he could have his Dommie back sooner than he thought. Billy closed his eyes, taking in a deep breath as he leaned his head back, dumping all the pills into his mouth. He reached for the cup, taking quite a few swallows of water, until at last every pill was gone. A few minutes passed by as Billy stared back at his own reflection in the mirror. He could hardly believe what he just did, but it was better… better than living with the pain that had now filled his heart. Billy put his hand into his pocket and took out his mobile, opening it as he pressed his fingers to the keypad, trying to dial Elijah's number. Billy could feel his chest tightening and he stopped dialing for a moment, taking in a deep breath. Billy shook his head, dialing Elijah's number once more while taking in another deep breath, this time struggling a bit to let it go as his head began to swim, his eyes growing heavy.

“Hello?” The voice on the other end replied.

Billy couldn't speak; everything around him began to spin.

“Fucking hell, Bill I know it's you. Your number is on the ID.”

“He knew.” Billy whispered. “He knew his days would end.”

“Bill, what's the matter. You don't sound like yourself.”

“Lij”

“Bill, what's going on, are you alright?”

“Lij.”

“Billy damn it, what's the matter?”

“Bloody hell, it's getting dark.”

“Billy?”

“I just called to say one thing.” Billy said softly, his voice trailing off.

There was a long pause. Billy felt lightheaded as he struggled to breathe.

“Bill?”

“I'm going to really miss you mate.”

Nothing more was said and the line went dead as Elijah dropped his phone, grabbing his car keys, running for the door.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

The gentle rhythmic ticking of a clock in the room drowned out the shallow beeps of monitors and feet shuffling through the halls behind a closed door. The minutes passed as though they were hours as a pair of weary eyes glanced to the clock once more. The air was cool, a light scent of pine cleaner rising from the freshly cleaned bathroom. Near the window sat a chair, filled with blankets and pillows from many sleepless nights past. An IV pump ran quietly in the corner, the sound of oxygen hissing quietly from a tube running from the wall. A deep gasp then came from the bed as arms flailed out, eyes opening wide.

“He's awake!” A familiar voice shouted. Everything seemed blurry somehow. No memory of days past could come to mind. A shadow lingered overhead, eyes blinking, slowly coming into focus.

“Elijah, hello!” The voice replied again. Elijah blinked, his head throbbing with pain.

“Viggo?” He whispered through dry lips.

“Yes, I'm here.” Viggo said softly, taking Elijah's hand into his own. Viggo then called out for a nurse, pushing Elijah's hair away from his brow.

“What happened?” Elijah asked, trying to grasp onto the moment. “Where am I?”

“You're in the hospital Lij. You had an accident.”

“An accident?”

“You did. You totaled out your mom's cooper. You've been out for days.”

Elijah reached up, touching his face. It seemed as though there was someplace else he was supposed to be. A nurse then came into the room and she smiled, drawing another set of covers over Elijah before taking his vitals.

“I will tell the others.” She said softly, taking the thermometer from Elijah's mouth. She left the room and Elijah quickly sat up, his eyes searching frantically around the room.

“Billy!” He screamed. “Viggo, I have to get Billy!”

“Whoa, hold your horses there buckaroo!” Viggo replied getting up from his chair. “With that broken leg you're not going anywhere.”

“But, Billy… he… he…” Elijah began as Viggo put his hand firmly against Elijah's chest, easing him back down into his bed.

“He's fine. He's here Lij. He has been keeping an eye on you all this time, just left a short bit ago actually so I came inside to take the next watch.” Elijah's face filled with confusion. He couldn't remember a thing. The last he knew he was running for the door with his car keys in hand after getting Billy's call on his cell phone. Elijah then heard a familiar laugh and through the door Billy appeared, a bright smile on his face.

“Bloody hell mate, you had us all worried!” Billy said coming towards Elijah, leaning into his bed, hugging him tightly.

“You worried about me?” Elijah stammered. “I was worried about you!”

“Whatever for?” Billy asked giving Elijah a sly glance.

“Don't you remember?”

“Remember what Lij?” Billy remarked. Elijah then heard more voices coming to the door and Billy turned around as another smiling face entered the room, arms outstretched.

“Fucking hell, you're awake!” They replied brightly. “Nice to see those big blue eyes open for a change!”

“Dom?” Elijah mumbled as he felt all the color rush from his face.

“Shite man, you're not looking so good now.” Dom replied sitting down on the edge of Elijah's bed. “You look like you've seen a ghost or something.” Elijah's mouth dropped open, he wanted to say something but he couldn't find any words.

“Lij, hey, you in there?” Billy said quietly, waving his hand in front of Elijah's face. Elijah blinked, shaking his head, trying to gather his thoughts.

“But the party and you…” Elijah stuttered, pointing towards Dom. “Dead, yeah… I thought you were fucking dead!”

“Me? Dead?” Dom laughed, slapping his hand on Elijah's cast covering his leg. “You wish. You can't get rid of me that easy.”

“But…”

“But nothing Lij.” Dom giggled. “I'm sitting right here. Do I look dead to you?”

Elijah shook his head.
“What about the party? What happened there?” Elijah asked, trying to find some answers.
“The New Years Party?” Billy replied.
“Yes.” Elijah said, rubbing his forehead. “It all seems to be a blur to me somehow.”
“Well it should.” Dom said with a smile. “You never made it there! You've been laying here like a log for the past five days! You fell asleep behind the wheel and drove off the road hitting a few trees heading over to my place. Your mum was really sore about the car though. Said she would take it out of your hide once you woke up. But you know how mums are. She still loves ya!”

“But Billy called… and I thought he…”

“Thought I what?” Billy asked looking to Elijah, turning his head to one side.

“Thought you tried to kill yourself.”

“Shite Lij, I'd never do something like that.” Billy said passing Elijah a stern glance. “Those trees really knocked your senses right out of you didn't they?”

“So it was all a dream.” Elijah whispered quietly to himself. “Nothing but a fucking nightmare!”

“Afraid so Lij.” Dom replied smiling again. “We're both here, we are both fine. I'm not dead, Billy didn't try to do himself in and Viggo is sitting there starting at you, wishing he could have a little bit of whatever it is you're smoking.”

“So everything is right in the world?” Elijah quietly replied.

“Yes Lij, it is.” Dom said with a large grin. “Everything is right in the world now, because we finally got you back!”