Prose: Fade Away

note: from the ancient archives! wrote this when i was 14, edited it, and now its up! enjoy and please ignore anything i could fix.

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The blood. The bitter sweet blood was every where. A million thoughts ran through my mind. I had to shut my eyes to set them all straight. Was all of this
a dream?
a hallucination?
a mental breakdown?
My eyes opened. No. This was real, but not a reality that I wanted to see. So I shut my eyes again. Thinking…believing that if I just kept them closed this reality would….
fade away…
Into the depths of my mind. I could make this reality disappear. Just like I had made the reality of the night I was raped, my innocence stolen, by Alex Rain.
I made that reality disappear when I…I…
Alex didn’t know that I was capable of making things never happen. That I could make that reality of him…
fade away
until it never happened. Until that reality was no more.
One phone call.
One sweet and innocent phone call with not so sweet and innocent words: “Alex, I want you. I need you. Please come over.”
He knew who I was, but he did not know what I was capable of.
fade away…
into nothing.
I waited patiently….happily…with my dad’s 38. between my hands. It was not innocent, but now, thanks to Alex, neither was I. It was cold and heavy, but it was powerful. And it could make Alex….
fade away.
He pulled into the drive, his engine growled, then was silent. I heard the car door open, then shut. I heard the sound that his boots made as they came closer to the door. Then the footsteps stopped. A knock at the door.
The words smoothly came off my lips, which were formed into an eerie smile, “Enter.”
The door opened. Alex saw me, but not the gun. I was holding the gun between my legs, no longer innocent.
He spoke, “I knew you’d want more.”
I did not move. I simply said, “Come closer.”
He obeyed, something he had not done the night before when I begged him to stop. He shut the door and made his way toward me.
“Stop.” I said calmly.
Uncertain, Alex stopped with a confused look upon his face.
I stood up, raising my gun. Alex’s eyes grew wild with fear, just as mine had when he pinned me to the front seat of his car.
He raised his right hand, took a step back, began to speak, but I silenced him.
I said two simple words, “Fade away.” And pulled the trigger.
And he did.
My eye still shut, the gun still firmly between my hand, the blood still staining the carpet, Alex lying lifelessly on the floor, I began to laugh. An insane laugh.
I opened my eyes and they didn’t see the blood or the body. In my own twisted reality I had made them
fade away….