Story: WHAT FADES AWAY (part 1)

note: this comes after "Come What May" & "Another Day". read them in order or be confused. these characters are real people, but i wanted to use them in my story so get over it.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Billy looked forward, his eyes not once turning away from the road as he made his way down the highway, weaving in and out of the slow moving traffic. The radio had long ago been turned off, the music setting Billy off into a fit of sadness and then anger, startling his companion sitting at his side. The ride had been long and they were almost to their destination, but Elijah couldn’t hold back any more, he just had to know what was going on.

“Bill, talk to me please. It’s been over an hour since you’ve said a word. Something is bothering you and it would make me feel a hell of a lot better if I knew what it was.”

A few minutes passed, yet still no answer came. Elijah sighed deeply, leaning his arm against the inside of the car, looking out the window as the sun slowly began to fade below the distant horizon. He was puzzled. Early that morning Billy had called asking him if he would like to stay the week with him and Dom at his place, to get together like they did in the ‘old days’ and take the piss out on each other, running about the city stopping off at all the small pubs they had become familiar with since returning from New Zealand so many years ago. Elijah couldn’t pass it up, but now here he was, sitting in the car with Billy, no Dom in sight. In a way he almost expected Dom would be the one picking him up since he knew Billy despised driving in the city, but no, he was in Dom’s car with Billy behind the wheel, his face long and solemn. Elijah turned away from the window, pulling his crutches up beside him, reaching his hand into the top part of his cast to tame an itch.

“I get this off next week you know. Can you believe it Bill; it’s been seven weeks since my accident, seven friggin weeks. It doesn’t seem like it’s been that long.”
“It’s Dom.” Billy whispered softly interrupting Elijah.
“What’s that?”
“You wanted to know what’s bothering me. It’s Dom Lij, something isn’t right.”
“What do you mean?” Elijah asked, his interest growing with the tone of Billy’s voice.
“You said seven weeks and that got me thinking, you know about the day you woke up in the hospital and went raving mad about that dream you had. Dom mentioned something to me awhile back, saying that he died in your dream. What happened Lij? I mean, how did he die?”
“Why, what’s going on Bill?”
“I don’t really know Lij. He’s just not acting, well… himself I guess you could say. This last week he’s gotten worse. Seems like he has been going downhill since the day you woke up. I wish I knew what it was. I thought it might he might be missing having the three of us together so that is why I called. Thought it may bring him around. He didn’t kill himself did he? In your dream I mean?”
“No, no it wasn’t that at all.” Elijah replied, his heart seeming as though it had skipped a beat. “You were the one who actually did yourself in but it was just a dream Bill, it wasn’t real. A mind can play cruel pranks on your while you’re asleep.”
“I know…” Billy began taking in a deep breath, “I guess I’m just looking for answers to a puzzle I can’t seem to solve. I wish I knew what was going on in that head of his to make him change on me so much.”
“Maybe he just has a lot on his mind is all Bill. You know how he can get when he starts thinking. Too many thoughts rolling around, making it seem as though he’s like a rubber band pulled taught until it’s about to break.”
“Yeah, I thought that too, but… I don’t know.” Billy replied as he pulled off the highway, turning down the road that lead towards Dom’s street. “What all did you tell Dom about the dream Lij?”
“Not much Bill. Really, I don’t like to talk about it. Honestly the whole hospital ordeal was a pretty hellacious experience that I would like to forget, alright?”
“Alright, I’m sorry.” Billy sighed, turning his glance to Elijah as they came up in front of Dom’s house. Billy pulled the car up along the curb and set the car into park before pulling the keys out of the ignition. For a moment he sat there, his eyes fixed upon the front door. Elijah looked towards Dom’s place and then back at Billy, waving his hand in front of his face.
“Bill, seriously, there is something else going on you’re not telling me.”
“I know.” Billy said pausing for a minute as he opened the car door. “I think it’s time you come inside and see what it is for yourself.”

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Elijah watched as Billy fumbled with the keys in his hand, his fingers shaking as he finally found the one for the front door. Slowly he extended his arm out before him, putting the key into the lock turning it while holding onto the doorknob with his other hand.

“Bill, are you alright?” Elijah whispered, pulling his crutches higher up under his arms. “You’ve got me worried here.”
“Sorry.” Billy sighed. “I’m just at my wits end is all. He was doing alright up until two weeks ago so it seemed. He won’t talk to me. Something is wrong but I don’t know what it is.” Billy replied opening the door. “Don’t mind the mess, he’s been having these ‘fits’ as I call them, running around tearing things apart, taking all the pictures and stuff off the shelves and walls, hoarding them in his room. I just put them all back this morning. Last I knew he was in his room sleeping. Best thing for him I suppose. He doesn’t seem to do much of that anymore.”
“What’s that?” Elijah mumbled, looking inside, his eyes growing wide at the disarray before him.
“Sleep.” Billy answered, pulling Elijah’s duffle over his shoulder, helping him inside. “He’ll go three days at a time without it. Then sleep for two days straight through. Can’t well enough leave him alone for too long, I’m afraid of what he’ll do to himself.”
“I had no idea.” Elijah whispered, as Billy closed the door behind him. He could hardly believe what he saw. Furniture overturned in the living room, blinds drawn closed over every window, lamps resting on their side, bulbs still glowing dimly.
“Looks like he was at it again while I was gone.” Billy said with exhaustion, walking towards the sofa in the living room, picking up a lamp that was resting on the floor. A stack of magazines was strewn all about the floor, pages ripped out and crumpled into small balls near a metal trash bin. A tower of shoe boxes stood tall next to Dom’s favorite chair, a picture of Dom with Billy and Elijah under each arm, perched atop in a black frame.
“What’s that all about?” Elijah asked, coming into the living room behind Billy, moving slowly with his crutches.
“Mementos and stuff.” Billy sighed, making his way over to the boxes. “They’re full of his pictures. Whenever I can’t find him late at night, he’s always here, sitting in the chair going through all those boxes. He’ll sit here for as long as it takes, looking at each and every picture. There has to be at least a hundred pictures in each of those boxes along with other odds and ends.” Billy said softly, reaching up taking down the picture that had been placed on the top box. He ran his finger along the glass, his eyes beginning to tear as he looked at the bright smile on Dom’s face in the photo. So long it had been since he seen that cheeky grin.
“That has to be over a thousands photos!” Elijah replied, watching as Billy placed the frame he held in his hand on a nearby shelf.
“I imagine so.” Billy said softly. “It keeps him happy, that’s all that matters I guess, so I just let him go. Most of the time I’ll just sit there on the sofa, watching as he pulls the pictures out of the box, smiling as he flips each on over before setting them down in his lap. It’s about the only time I see him like that anymore.”
“Like what?” Elijah quietly replied.
“Happy.” Billy whispered, turning to Elijah with dampened eyes. He brushed his sleeve against his face, drying his tears before setting Elijah’s duffle down on the floor.
“I’ll pull the sleeper out for you down here. That is unless you want to brave the stairs and use the spare room upstairs.”
“Down here is fine.” Elijah replied, sitting down on the sofa. He was quiet for a moment, looking around the living room.
“Lij?”
“Yeah Bill?” Elijah said, setting his crutches down on the floor.
“You said earlier that you had no idea what was going on. Has Dom kept in contact with you at all since you’ve been back from the hospital?”

Elijah hesitated for a moment and turned away, staring at a picture hanging at an odd angle on the wall. He took in a deep breath, biting down on his lip before looking back to Billy.

“He has.”
“How long?” Billy asked, pacing around the room making Elijah feel a bit uneasy.
“For the past five weeks, but he stopped calling last week. He never said much when he called, just kept saying he was afraid. I would ask what of and he just kept saying your name. I never knew what to make of it. Just thought he was feeling guilty over something or other and I didn’t want to get between you two, so I let it go. I figured he stopped calling because things were getting better. I never knew about any of this.” Elijah replied, pointing to the disheveled room.
“Afraid?” Billy questioned, looking to Elijah with a bit of confusion.
“All he would say was that he was afraid and when I asked what he was afraid of he said that I would never understand. I would ask again and the next reply that would always come was your name. He sounded upset; almost like he was afraid he was going to lose you.” Elijah answered.
“But why? I haven’t gone anywhere and he won’t talk to me.” Billy replied with frustration, running his hand through his hair. “If anything, I should be the one afraid of losing him.”
“I can’t answer for him Bill. I don’t know what’s going through his mind.” Elijah said quietly, leaning back into the cushions of the couch. Just then a voice shouted out, cursing loudly before the sound of shattering glasses echoed from upstairs.
“Fucking shite!” Billy yelled hurrying out of the living room towards the stairs near the front door. “What the bloody hell has he done now?”
“Bill, wait!” Elijah replied, raising his voice. “Let me go, please!”

Billy stopped, closing his eyes taking in a deep breath as he pulled his hand away from the railing of the stairs. He stepped back, coming down from the first few steps as Elijah hurried out of the living room as fast as his crutches could carry him. Soon he made his way to Billy, standing beside him for a moment to catch his breath.

“Can you manage the stairs?” Billy asked, putting his hand on Elijah’s shoulder.
“I can, I do at my mom’s just fine.” Elijah replied reaching up, putting his hand over Billy’s. He smiled, holding his crutches out to Billy as he hopped up the first step.
“Are you going to need these?” Billy questioned, holding up one of Elijah’s crutches.
“I’ll manage, no worries. I’ve been hobbling around without them now and again. I can get around faster.” Elijah said quietly, climbing up a few more steps. “I’ll be back in a bit.”
“Lij.”
“Yeah Bill.” Elijah answered, stopping halfway up the stairs.
“Be careful.”
“I will Bills.” Elijah replied with a tender smile. “Don’t worry, everything will be alright.”

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Quietly Elijah scuffled along the hallway at the top of the stairs heading towards the open door on his right. It was Dom’s room, dark as it was with nothing more than a faint hint of light shining out onto the hallway floor. He could hear Dom’s voice mumbling softly, his voice too low to make any coherent reason of his words. Elijah came to rest near the door, his hand falling to the wall as he held himself upright for a moment to catch his breath. He sighed, closing his eyes before opening them again slowly. It was time to face what was hidden within the darkness.

“Dom?” Elijah whispered quietly, leaning in front of the doorway. “Mind if I come in?” Elijah listened, hoping for a reply but one never came. He then moved forward, slowly coming into the room, nearly tripping over a pile of clothes littered about the floor. “Dom, hey what’s going on?” Elijah said softly, making his way towards Dom, sitting in front of him on his mattresses that rested in the middle of his bedroom floor. He was leaning forward, his elbows resting on his knees while his head was bowed low against his clasped hands. Elijah whispered Dom’s name again, and he looked up, his eyes holding an intense stare as a bit of sunlight peeked through the broken window at the far end of his room, casting an eerie shadow on his face. His right hand was covered in blood and a cut above his eye bleed, slowly running a crimson line down his cheek. “Christ Dom, what did you do to yourself?” Elijah replied, kneeling down beside Dom, pulling a towel up from the floor, cleaning the blood away from Dom’s hand. “Shit, you’re going to have to get that looked at you know.”
“Lij?” Dom whispered though dry lips.
“Yeah, that’s me. Fucking hell Dom, what’s going on?” Elijah said sternly, patting away the blood running along Dom’s face.
“How did you get here?” Dom asked reaching up, pulling Elijah’s hand away from his face.
“Don’t worry about it. I’m here. That is all that matters. I’m staying for awhile, a week or more or however long it takes to get you back to your old self again. Why did you quit calling me? You should have told me about all this other stuff that’s been going on. It’s not like you to go around tearing things up and keeping to yourself. You’re hurting Billy and me for that matter acting this way. Talk to me Dom, what’s going on?”
“I’m scared.” Dom quietly whispered, his lips trembling.
“Scared? What are you scared of Dom?” Elijah replied, trying to look into Dom’s downcast eyes. “Come on, don’t stop now.” Elijah said, putting his fingers against Dom’s chin, until their eyes met. “What are you scared of Dom? We can’t help if we don’t know.”
“Dying.”
“What the hell?” Elijah said passing Dom a stern glance. “Whatever for? What brought this on?”
“Remember that dream?” Dom softly replied. “Your dream Lij, the one that you had in the hospital.”
“Yeah I remember, but damn Dom, it was just a dream, it wasn’t real.” Elijah said with reassurance, putting his hand on Dom’s arm.
“What makes you so sure Lij?” Dom snarled, shaking Elijah’s hand away. “Tell me Lij, I’ve asked you time and again, over and over again for the past fucking five weeks, what was your dream about and you would always ignore the question. I kept telling you I was afraid Lij, but you brushed it off like it was some joke. My head aches just thinking of it all now but I’ve kind of grown accustomed to it. The pain that is, the constant throbbing that always comes from here.” Dom growled, pushing a finger to his left temple. “Tell me Lij, was it here? Was this where the tumor was in your dream?” Elijah’s eyes grew wide; his lips parting, trying to form the words his voice couldn’t get out.
“That’s what I thought.” Dom replied, standing up from his bed walking over to the broken window. “I went to the urgent care clinic last week after I couldn’t take it anymore. By then it was too late Lij. I let it go too long. I never thought anything of it when the headaches first started, but a couple months ago they started getting worse. Remember the night before they released you from the hospital Lij? I had one then and if I recall correctly, I asked you about that dream again but you told me not to worry about it. You know damn well that I take the meaning of dreams literally man. Subconscious thoughts always seem to have a place somewhere in waking reality.”
“Yeah… but…” Elijah stuttered, his hands now shaking with the sinister tone of Dom’s voice. Dom looked back to Elijah, sighing deeply as Elijah began to tremble where he sat.
“Fuck, Lij.” Dom quietly remarked, coming back to Elijah’s side, kneeling down in front of him. “Dammit all to hell, I’m not blaming you for this. Sorry if it came out that way. I just… I don’t know what to do. Like I said, I’m scared. I’m gonna loose all of this.” Dom replied looking around his room. “I’m gonna lose you and Bills. I think that is what has made me go all crazy this past week, knowing that everything I ever loved is gonna be gone. That’s why I keep looking over pictures and keeping them all in here, in my room, surrounding myself with all the memories I had with the two of you that I don’t want to fade away. There are just days when I don’t know how to deal and I just go off the deep end. It’s not y our fault. Don’t you ever think that Lij. It’s my own stupidity for not getting any answers sooner.”
“Does he know?” Elijah replied softly, turning his damped eyes away from Dom’s glance.
“Billy? No, I haven’t told him yet.” Dom answered. “I just can’t, not now. It would break him.”
“Not saying anything will break him more.” Elijah said, looking to Dom as he dried away a few tears. “You have to tell him Dom. He loves you too much and you shouldn’t keep him in the dark any more than you already have. He’s a wreck. Have you looked at him lately?”

Dom shook his head, taking in a deep breath.

“He’s worried about you Dom. You have to tell him.”
“I will, just… I don’t know. Soon Lij, I’ll tell him soon.”

Elijah smiled, leaning his head a bit to one side as he looked over Dom’s face. He reached out putting his arms over Dom’s shoulders, pulling him in for a firm embrace.

“I don’t ever want to let you go Dom, you know that don’t you.”
“I know.” Dom cried softly, burying his face into Elijah’s shirt. Dom then pulled away, letting out a deep exhale as Billy’s voice called out from the bottom of the stairs.
“Everything alright up there?” Billy yelled, putting his foot up on the bottom step.
“Everything is fine!” Elijah replied loudly. “Come on up Bill!” The sound of footsteps then echoed out as Billy made his way up the steps.

Dom swallowed hard and looked to his doorway as he stood to his feet. Slowly a shadow fell along the floor of the hallway and then a familiar face came into view. Dom smiled brightly, making his way towards Billy, trying to hide the dried blood smeared across his hand. As Dom came closer, Billy’s face grew saddened and he reached out his hand, running his fingers along the side of Dom’s face.

“Dommie, what did you do?” Billy sighed, watching as Dom’s eyes began to tear. Dom’s bottom lip began to quiver, his face contorting as it always did when he could feel the tears coming.
“Dom, are you ok?” Billy asked softly. Dom nodded, leaning forward drawing Billy into a tight embrace. This is right where he wanted to be, forever and always. He couldn’t spoil the moment. He would tell Billy what was really wrong in due time.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Elijah pulled his blanket up tight around his shoulders, turning onto his side, slowly opening his eyes. It was late and he was having a hard time finding the sleep he so desired. Elijah leaned over the edge of the fold out bed, reaching down to the floor picking up a glass of water. He took a drink and placed it back down on the floor letting out a deep sigh. He then heard a noise and he rolled over, his eyes meeting with Dom’s, causing him to jump.

“Sorry about that.” Dom whispered quietly, moving away from the side of the sofa. “I didn’t mean to scare you. I didn’t wake you did I, turning on the light and all?”
“No, you didn’t. Honestly I didn’t even know you were there.” Elijah said quietly. “I haven’t been able to sleep anyways, so it’s no big deal. Is everything alright?”
“Yeah, I’m alright. Just can’t sleep is all, nothing new.” Dom replied, pulling a magazine out from under the edge of the sofa. He began flipping through the pages, smiling now and again before stopping, turning the magazine around showing it to Elijah.
“Look, it’s Orlando!” Dom giggled. “Makes a nice centerfold don’t he? Suppose I’ll have to pull that one out and pin it on my wall.” Dom replied tugging at the page until it loosed from the binding. He held up the image grinning brightly before bringing it to his lips, leaving a wet kiss on Orlando’s picture. Elijah laughed, shaking his head as he propped himself up on his elbow.
“You never cease to amaze me Dom.” Elijah replied, watching as Dom tossed the magazine into his favorite chair nearby, before hiding his newly acquired piece of admiration under his leg.
“Really, why’s that?” Dom said quietly, looking down to his hands, turning the stack of rings around his middle finger.
“Because even in the darkest of days, you still seem to find ways to make the people around you smile. You’ll never be forgotten for that you know.” Dom laughed, looking up to Elijah with his irresistible cheeky smile.
“Hell, I’ll be happy just to know I’ll be remembered.” Dom grinned. He then grew silent, noting the time on a nearby clock. He looked over his shoulder to the staircase and took in a deep breath, his eyes turning down once more as his face grew saddened.
“You said anything yet?” Elijah asked, looking out towards the stairs. “To Billy I mean, about what’s going on.”
“Not yet.” Dom answered, pulling up a few loose threads of carpet near his feet. “I don’t want to ruin his happiness. He’s just thrilled to have the ‘old’ me back. I’d hate to tell him ‘hey Bills, guess what, you got me back but I can’t stay for long’. I don’t think it would go over to well.”
“Yeah I know Dom, but…”
“I know, I know.” Dom sighed. “I can’t keep it from him forever.”

Silence filled the room again and Elijah brought himself back down into his bed, fluffing his pillow under his head.

“Is he sleeping?” Elijah whispered softly as he snuggled deep under his blankets.
“I imagine so.” Dom replied. “He was when I came down about an hour ago. I left him lying on my bed. He moves around too much, always kicking and throwing his arms over my face.”
“Yeah, but you still love him.” Elijah said with a bright smile, reaching down to Dom, giving him a friendly punch to the shoulder.
“You hit like a ponce, ya nancy boy!.” Dom laughed, getting up from the floor, tackling Elijah on his bed. “Just wait until you get that cast off your leg and I’ll let you have it a good one!”
“All bark, no bite.” Elijah replied, pushing Dom away, knocking him down to the floor.
“Just like me ya know!” Dom said with a smile as he stood up, pouting as he realized he landed on his picture he tore out of the magazine.
“See what you made me do.” Dom whined, picking the page of the magazine up off the floor. “I put a hole in Orli’s face.”
“Aww, poor baby.” Elijah replied, puckering his lips. “I think it adds a bit of character.” Dom shook his head, trying to hold back his laughter behind a gentle smile.
“Well, I think I’ll call it a night, alright Lij.”
“Quite alright Dom!” Elijah said quietly as Dom went over to the lamp next to his chair, shutting it off. “See you in the morning?”
“You will.” Dom replied.
“Dom.”
“Yeah.”
“Don’t hold off too long, ok?”
“Hold off on what?”
“Telling Billy.”
“I promise Lij.” Dom said quietly as he began to make his way out of the living room. He then stopped, looking back to Elijah.
“Lij?”
“Yeah, Dom.”
“Can you promise me one thing?”
“Sure.”
“Don’t tell him, even if I hold out doing it for awhile, ok?

Elijah didn’t answer; he took in a deep breath letting it out slowly. He could tell that Dom just didn’t have the heart to tell Billy that he was slowly fading away.

“Lij?”
“Yeah Dom… I promise.” Elijah answered, closing his eyes tightly as he heard Dom’s footsteps begin to walk away. He wanted so bad to think that Dom had all the time in the world to tell Billy, but deep down he knew it just wouldn’t be so.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::